Note: This article is an updated version
If the big day is drawing closer, and you’re still out of ideas, here is a list of silly, raunchy, or romantic Valentine’s Day gifts for him that should spark some inspiration (do you don’t have to resort to the cliche box of cheap chocolates and dollar store teddybear.
1. COUPON BOOKS
Let’s start off with a classic – the naughty/romantic coupon book. Yes, you CAN buy them pre-made and in all the commercial glory glossy cardstock has to offer. Or, take a little time to think about the things your lover would want, and make your own set.
There’s the standard blow job and a week’s worth of coffee, but even then it’s still a little “meh”. What if there is a certain meal he loves but you just don’t have the time to make it? Maybe there is a movie he adores but you never feel like watching it. Perhaps there is a computer game he’s always wanted you to play with him.
It’s the little things that make all the difference.
2. THINGS WITH BOOZE
If your beau loves his beer, wine, or spirits, there are so many gift possibilities. Try getting a sampler of little bottles instead of one big one. Throw in liquor chocolates or other goodies to match. Add an invitation/appointment to a wine-tasting or brewery tour. There are also endless subscriptions to whatever booze you can imagine.
And we all know what can happen when you throw a little booze into your evening (wink).
3. SOMETHING WITH BODY PARTS
There’s no single gift option here. There are stress boobs/penises (the hand squishies), coffee mugs, pens, cuff links, DIY dildo molds to make a copy of your partner’s penis, etc. Maybe even splurge for an expensive candle in the shape of something that will make all your guests blush.
There are also fun scents to explore. Why bother with traditional smells like sandalwood or citrus when there are things like “Dwarven Forge” or “My Vagina”.
4. EROTIC SHOWER PACK
Shower sex can be hot as hell. But you can ramp it up a few more degrees by adding one important element – you.
It’s easy – buy things you would normally get for a bath basket (bath bombs, shower gel, body scrubs, moisturizers, etc). Apparently, there’s even something called “ball wash.”
- See if you can make it a theme (high-end scents, his favorite go-to, erotic-themed, something quirky/fun, etc.)
- Put it together in a nice basket, box, or scavenger hunt that ends up in the bathroom (with you at the end looking sexy).
- And the best one, you’re going to give him the shower (ending with massaging that moisturizer all over his body – happy ending optional).
5. SCRATCH CARDS
You know those lottery scratch cards? You can totally DIY them! All it takes is paint, soap, and some creative or thoughtful prizes. It can be a fun version of the “coupon book” but with a “gambling” element. Look online for the paint recipes and go crazy!
6. PERSONALIZED GIFTS
When it comes to gifts with a personalized flare, the list is endless. Just brainstorm whatever fun things he might light and look up how to customize it.
- Romance books – fill out the form and you’re the stars of the story
- Underwear – printed with whatever images you want
- Wallet engravings – with any message you want (from loving to kinky)
- Custom songs – there are plenty of companies now that it’s the “big” thing on social media
7. A SEX TOY
Get something he can use when he needs a quickie, you’re not there, or to add during his sex with you. There are prostate massagers, anal plugs, pocket pussies, cock rings, cock cages, etc.
If you want something a bit more tech-savvy, try a long-distance, smartphone-controlled sex toy. You can make it buzz even if you’re at work, AND (if it’s wearable = like a butt plug that won’t fall out when you walk around) he can wear it anywhere and give YOU the power or vice versa.
For smartphone-controlled MALE SEX TOYS, Check out Lovense
8. COUPLE’S GAMES
There are so many to choose from – totally sex-based, roleplay-targeted, more romantic, raunchy laughs with platonic friends, board games for swingers, etc. There’s even one that’s a simple date-night idea (with sexy twists). But they’re also big match sticks, so you can light romantic candles.
9. ANOTHER PARTICIPANT
Don’t roll your eyes. We all have fantasies – and threesomes are right up there for men AND women. If you feel secure enough in your relationship to take this step, why not add a third party to the celebrations?
HOWEVER, unless you’ve done it before, it’s not something to spring on your partner as a surprise. It takes lots of talking, negotiating, rule-setting, etc. You can also have the illusion of a threesome by adding a sex toy that can go to work in another area (like a thrusting vibrator or an anal plug).
10. POSITION OF THE DAY CARDS
Or a “sex position of the day” book. You don’t have to do them one per day, but there will be plenty of options to keep you busy for a long while.
Also, if some of the more difficult positions concern you, look at it a different way – giving it a go will force better communication between you and your partner. It also doesn’t have to be a serious love-making matter. You can giggle your way through the acrobatics and have a fun memory afterward.
11. CANDY UNDIES
Yep, fruit roll-up underwear, edible nipple pasties, or rock candy bikinis! It’s fun lingerie for those who have a sweet tooth. BUT (BIG but), if you’re a woman putting this on, make sure that nothing rests against your vagina. Sugar near the genitals can bring on yeast infections.
12. “SOMETHING” FOR SERVICE
Totally for fun (or totally serious if you want) – get a “ring for a blow job” or “ring for sex” novelty bell. They’re great for a laugh or even a little BDMS play should you wish. There are also candles that say, “Light for (sex, blowjob, getting naked).
13. SEXY SUBSCRIPTION
It can be anything from a porn mag to a membership to a cam model site – whatever theme he has a hardon for. Just make sure that you’re 100% okay with it. No one wants a gift to turn into discomfort something that instigates guilty feelings.
14. DIRTY FOOD
Gag gifts will never let you down. They’ve also found their way into the culinary world. There’s genital-shaped pasta, dirty cake molds, suggestive candy, etc. Load up on stuff that will bring a smile to his face. Whether you make it for him or get him to do it, depends on your preferences. And, if they love chocolate, there are endless ways to customize a Valentine’s Day gift box.
15. INDOOR CAMPING
This is romantic and adorable at the same time. Since it’s way too cold outside, why not bring the fun inside? Make a fun fort in the living room. Put a fireplace video on the television.
Go the extra mile and make a “Smores board.” It’s a spread of all the things you need to make smores (obviously). But if you don’t have a fireplace there are tiny table-top fireplaces, bunsen burners (placed in a safe surrounding container), melted chocolate and marshalls in a pan, etc.
16. BALL SCRATCHERS & WIERD THINGS
And why not? They’re funny, fun, and functional. I’ve seen ones that are made from more expensive materials (if you want your laughs to come with a higher price tag, who’s to judge!).
EXTRAS – Get other scratchers and make it a whole set. There are metal fingers for the head, and other devices to make your skin tingle. I don’t know about you, but I’ve had some scratches that felt damn near orgasmic.
17. FULFILL A FANTASY
We’ve talked about porn sites, lingerie, and threesomes, but maybe there is a different fantasy he’s been hinting at. There are sexy uniforms, role-play, blindfolds, handcuffs/restraints, and more!
If you’ve had the “talk”, feel comfortable, and can hash out the details, make his dreams come true on Valentine’s Day.
18. A “BROQUET”
I must live under a rock because I’ve JUST heard this word. A bouquet for bros = broquet. I have seen the concept in other ways, but this one sounds fun…
Take whatever little items he would love, find a way to attach them to a long stick, and arrange/wrap them like you would a bunch of flowers. Voila! A fun way to give a normal gift!
19. SURPRISE VACAY
Wine country, beachside, another country, log cabin, whatever. Find a way to organize a weekend away at a place he would love. Whether you bring extra toys or implements for fun is up to you.
20. UTTER SPOILING
If you have the money, time, and energy, why not combine several of these ideas as well as adding your own! Wear that sexy lingerie with a second girl while you watch the porn you bought after getting tipsy on the booze you gave in the hotel room you sprung for. Good times.
Have any more naughty, sexy, or romantic Valentine’s Day ideas for him? Share in the comments!