You’re here because you want to step up your oral sex game … or the entire event is a frustrating puzzle – one you just can’t seem to figure out.
It’s okay. You’re not the only one.
There is a considerable amount of pressure (especially when we find a new partner) to perform well in all aspects – from foreplay to the main event – and we’re sometimes too shy or embarrassed to ask for help or advice.
In this guide, we will look at all possible techniques and tips to help you impressed your ladyfriend.
1. FORGET COOKIE-CUTTER ORAL
There is no one “technique” to giving great cunnilingus. What works for one partner might not work for another.
Therefore, there’s no sense in dishing out tongue action the exact same way every time. You have to explore, try different things, and remember that every new partner will be a new exploration.
2. SHOW YOU WANT IT
When it comes to loving their egos stroked, women are no different than men – attention is attention, after all.
Seeing someone acting like they’re sucking on the world’s most sour lemon will not help get them off.
“I could spend forever down here” is the right attitude – like the cliche “you’re dying of thirst and she’s water”. Your enthusiasm allows her to relax and focus on the moment rather than worrying if her partner is having fun.
There are mountains of other things you can say to make her feel like a goddess…
- You taste amazing
- God, you look beautiful
- I love the way you moan
- I love it when you [insert action here]
Because let’s face it, many people are insecure.
Women especially have a lot to worry about.
Despite great hygiene, there can still be natural odors, uncontrollable discharge (hey, our vagoos gotta clean themselves somehow), periods, spotting, infections, and hair (which, for some reason, freaks out some people).
The line, “Don’t worry, baby. [Insert something here] doesn’t bother me at all” can go miles towards making her feel at ease. Arousing her mind is just as important as her body.
4. TAKE YOUR TIME
The average woman takes 15 to 40 minutes to have an orgasm.
They have to relax, calm their thoughts, and focus on the pleasure, not the billion annoying things that are rattling around in their brains, including knowing that the other person might be down there for a long time and the big O still might not happen.
Letting her know she has all the time in the world, and that you’re not just happy, but damn enthusiastic about putting in the time, earns a BILLION brownie points.
5. USE YOUR HANDS
Because going down on a woman is more of a marathon, it’s completely acceptable to take a break when your mouth, tongue, or even neck gets tired.
Using your hand to stimulate her clitoris, g-spot, inner thighs, breasts (or any other part of her body that keeps the fires going) won’t make you lose momentum. It will only add to it.
Don’t forget the rest of her body WHILE you’re going down on her. Multitasking is awesome!
6. DON’T BE AFRAID OF SEX TOYS
A woman/man is not less of a woman/man if they bring a vibrating friend to the party.
Using a vibrating dildo or bullet can be your best friend if things seem to be stalling. Don’t forget the lube.
NOTE: Most women enjoy steady vibrations (and deep/rumbly as opposed to buzzy) instead of the “patterns” many toys come with.
You might like these Bluetooth, app-controlled sex toys:
7. CHANGE POSITIONS
It’s not just “woman on her back”…
Putting a pillow under her hips can make things more accessible and easier on your neck.
Being on her hands and knees makes her anus easier to get to (if she likes that sort of thing).
Switching to 69 makes things a fun completion on who can endure longer than the other before we stop using our mouths because things just feel too damn good.
8. LISTEN, WATCH, COMMUNICATE
Asking her if she likes what you’re doing can help you make better sense of the roadmap that is her vagina – it’s very okay to ask!
Also, pay attention to how her body moves.
If she’s arching hips, bucking into your mouth, or shifting her position slightly, it’s a cue for you to go with the flow and give her what she wants.
9. PRACTICE & TECHNIQUE – NOT PORN
Many times adult actresses are faking it, so copying what someone did to your favorite porn star might not work on your girl.
There are several real techniques that people have suggested:
- Licking ice-cream
- Writing the alphabet with your tongue
- Gentle/hard sucking
- Using different parts of your tongue
- Stimulating different parts of the labia
- Penetration with your tongue
- Humming.moaning to make vibrations
There’s no holy grail of instructions. You’ll have to find the mix that makes her pop.
10. STICK TO IT
Once you’ve found something that works, stay with it.
Don’t go all over the place trying to show off how much your yoga class has made everything flexible, even your tongue.
11. DON’T STOP SHORT
Unless you’ve clearly established that your particular play session is about teasing and denying, keep the motions going until you send her over the edge.
Stop when she tells you to – because there’s nothing worse than being in the middle of an orgasm, your partner thinking it’s over, stopping, but she hasn’t quite got over the edge yet. UGH!
12. CAREFUL WITH AFTER-KISSING
Just like men, not everyone likes having their nether regions kissed after they’ve had an orgasm from oral sex.
Things can often be too sensitive and any additional stimuli will make them jump or twitch (not in a good way) and ruin their post-orgasmic bliss.
13. DECIDE ON YOUR HAIR SITUATION
Some people genuinely don’t like the feeling of hair on their faces or mouths, and I get it.
However, let’s be honest, to ask her to shave or wax when she really doesn’t want to doesn’t exactly make her feel 100%.
HINT: ingrown hairs and razor burn is NOT a fun thing to deal with. It will foster feelings of inadequacy rather than desire. How you deal with it is up to you – either learn to be okay with it or find a way to politely not do it, but keep your partner’s feeling’s intact.
14. USE DENTAL DAMS
“It’s better to be safe and awkward than unsafe and sorry”
With the plethora of STIs out there, whipping out a dental dam is as necessary as using a condom with a dude. Fairness and safety both ways, folks.
If you’re looking for information about female oral sex, you might be interested in these articles…
- Female Ejaculation – Are you Really Peeing on your Partner?
- How to Make a Woman Squirt – Tips to Turn Her into a Fountain
Do you have any other oral sex advice you want to add? Share in the comments!