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How We Learned Trust Was the Ultimate Form of Control

aTiredOcto Last Updated:Nov 19.2025
They are building a relationship on trust, play and power. Oceans apart, their connection relies on patience and consent: this couple learns how control can sometimes mean care.

 

We’ve had our fair share of spats, money, life choices, jealousy. We’ve been able to overcome them by talking every day we can, being honest with each other, and mainly by trying to better ourselves on any bad habits we point out to each other. It is not easy. I live in Sweden and she lives in the US. Our physical meetings are so few it gets lonely, and Lovense helps us bridge that gap ever so slightly.

 

The first time was with the Domi I bought for her. Earlier I just gave her commands on what to do with her wand, but allowing me to control it like I was almost there in person elevated our D/s play to another level.I could slowly tease her as much as I wanted or overstimulate her over and over. It was great, and we kept buying toys to feel more connected to each other.

 

The first time she lost control from so far away stands out to me.Normally when we did commands prior to using Lovense toys she loved being a brat, not listening to me just so she could be punished harder later. But thanks to the fuck machine and me putting her in prone bond, she couldn’t just stop on her own when she felt that feeling sneaking up.I kept her in that place for almost forty minutes, taking her through wave after wave of intensity. Under her muffled breath in her now drenched teddy bear I heard her say, “Please, please daddy stop,” but this time I wouldn’t be as lenient as the times she controlled the pace. I slowly increased it from 50% to 60% to 70%. The intensity built until her control shattered, and she surrendered completely: a moment of vulnerability and trust we’d never before achieved from so far away.

 

She lay there trembling, whispering thank you over and over.

 

This play is only something we’ve been able to do in person, but thanks to the mini fuck machine we were able to do that long distance.

 

Moments like that taught me something important—

 

Number one and the most important: safewords. They’re so important in any type of play, but even more so in long distance, as you cannot as easily pick up on your partner’s discomfort. I’d recommend a green, yellow, red system.

Number two: having two cameras for your play — one on the body and one on the face. If you’re like me and you get off to your SO’s reactions, then it’s a must.

And lastly, never forget to clean your toys.

💞 Love, redefined

What began as a game of dominance turned into devotion. For them, control was never about power, but about trust - the kind that grows stronger, even across the pond.

💌 Behind the Story

aTiredOcto (25–34M) 📍 United States
💞 In a long-distance D/s relationship
🎮 Using: Ferri, Lush series, Gush series, Mini sex machine
✏️ Shared through our Lovense Community

 

Have you explored new layers of trust in your relationship?

We believe every connection has a story.

Share yours with our community, stories like aTiredOcto's inspire others to deepen their own play, trust, and intimacy.

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