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One Tap Could Change Everything

maggie4u Last Updated:Sep 01.2026

A small control button can hold a surprisingly big question: how much power are you willing to hand over, and how safe do you feel taking it back?

For me, communication about sex is a lot less like “let’s sit down and have a serious conversation” and more like a thousand little conversations before, during, and after 😅

I’m submissive and also unfortunately a people-pleaser, lol, so my natural instinct can be to follow the lead and make the other person happy. That sounds convenient until you realize it also means I really need to feel safe saying “no,” “not that,” “slow down,” or even just “I don’t know yet” without feeling like I ruined something.

We talk about things before, but honestly, a lot gets figured out during play too. Sometimes I think I will like something and don’t; sometimes something I was unsure about suddenly works; and sometimes my brain just stops braining altogether 😂 So being able to adjust without making it a whole dramatic thing is really important to me.

Lovense actually helps with that in a weird way. Giving someone control of a toy is already a form of communication for me… there’s a lot of trust in that little control button. Sometimes handing over control says “I want you to take over” much more easily than I could actually say those words 🙈 But it also only works because I know I can turn it off, say stop, ask for something different, or talk about it afterward.

And we do talk afterward. Sometimes about what was hot, sometimes about what didn’t quite work, and sometimes about something we want to try differently next time. I think that’s probably the part that builds the most trust for me… knowing neither a yes nor a no is permanent, and “I’m not sure yet” is also a perfectly good answer.

Turns out good sex requires an annoying amount of talking 😂💛

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