The Anatomy of a Good Sex Toy – 7 Questions to Ask Yourself

Simple tips to help you decided if you’re getting a good sex toy or a disappointing dud.

It’s easy to dive into what make a specific kind of toy good, mediocre, or just plain horrible. But what if you’re standing in the middle of an adult store or spot an intriguing device that’s just gone on a flash sale?

How do you know if you’re going to get something decent?

Well, there are a few simple points you can skim through to help you decided if you want to hit that buy button.

THE MATERIAL


Yes, yes, I know. We’re going to beat a dead horse with this one – but it’s probably one of the easiest and best ways to evaluate sex toys.

When you boil things down, there are really only a few truly safe options and a couple more so-so ones. In order of quality and safety, here’s what to aim for…

  1. Silicone – as long as it’s a decent grade and not a blend, it’s one of the safest options.
  2. Stainless Steel – it should preferably be medical grade (nickel or plated can cause allergies or wear-away at the coating which leaves a less-safe material exposed).
  3. ABS plastic – not the most durable, but it’s no porous, so that’s good.

Next, the trickier ones…

  • Glass – as long as it’s made correctly and made from one of these two materials.
  • Wood – only if it’s coated probably.
  • Ceramic – only if it’s baked and sealed properly.

NOTE: There is a lot of TPR rubber out there (often used to make the huge sex toys – because it’s cheaper), it’s highly porous and should only be used with a condom overtop (and never shared). I personally don’t buy these.

THE BATTERY


Rechargeable is always better – aside from being more environmentally friendly, they can support better motors and last longer.

Also, check to see how long the batter life is – the number you see is usually how long the toy will last on the highest/strongest setting.

THE MOTOR


This one is trickier – but no one expects you to know what motor is in the toy. Instead, you’re aiming for a quick skim of the product details. The best option is anything with more than three power levels (or, even better, something you can program the vibrations yourself).

The larger the setting variety, the greater chance you’ll find your sweet spot – and it doesn’t matter if you’re a power queen or not).

WARRENTY


Any toy above a certain price range should over some sort of protection against manufactures/construction defaults. Minimum one year.

NOVELTY LABELS


If it says “novelty” or “novelty use only”, run for the hills. It’s an international shipping trick to help bypass crap merchandise through customs.

PRICE COMPARISON


Adult products can suffer from the same brand woes as any other non-sex product – meaning, sometimes you can pay more for the name or the flashiness/novelty of the toy.

There are no solid guidelines for navigating this. But when you’re looking at a toy, try to balance the price versus what you’re actually getting.

However, try not to let the “price you wish it was” over take the “price it’s worth.”

For example – A Sybian Saddle is over a thousand dollars. We wish it was cheaper (hell, even I cringe at the price tag wish I could get it for at least 50% off … or less), but the quality of the toy really does make the price reasonable.

So, if there is an expensive toy you really want but don’t have the budget yet, don’t worry!

Just wait for a sale or if the company comes out with a newer generation and the old one needs to be cleared from the shelves. Or give puppy dog eyes to someone when a birthday or Christmas rolls around. Also, there are sometimes contests or giveaways on social media to look out for.

IN SHORT


Ask yourself these questions…

  1. Is it a safe material?
  2. If there’s a motor, are there more than three settings?
  3. Is it rechargeable?
  4. How long does the battery last?
  5. Is there a novelty warning?
  6. Is there a warranty?
  7. Is the price reasonable for what you’re getting?

Mull these point over and it should be clear if it’s worth buying or not.

Honestly, I’ve reviewed, browsed, and owned so many sex toys through the years that it’s easy to spot which are worth looking further into and which should be given a quick, hard pass. It won’t take much research for you to start seeing the same patterns and red flags.

Any other suggestions you want to add? Share in the comments!

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