The scary season is upon us once more.
But even though Halloween comes and goes, these sex toys will stay in our minds forever … either because they’re super cute or creative … or horrific enough to burn the image in our memories.
Let’s see what this year’s haul turned up….
Man Eaters From Outer Space
The toy’s caption reads, “Purple people eaters are so 1958! Forget them and say hello to your new alien overlord — the most adorable green monster sex toy you ever saw.“
We also quickly find out that it’s a toy for guys – “This little spaceguy is not a sleeve, but slides along the shaft.”
The material is PVC and ABS plastic, which is not the worst thing in the world. I had to admit, it’s kinda cute.
Holy Water Plug
Ready to exorcize someone?
I’ve only been able to find this on a list page, but even if it’s not for sale anymore, it’s worth having in this holiday’s collection
For those of you who haven’t figured it out yet, it’s a plug that goes up the penis. It also has the hole so someone can pee out of it.
Alien Yoni Egg
There’s not as much detail as I would like and the overall feeling when I first saw it was “meh.”
However, I give it huge props for taking the idea and running with it, plus extra props for making it out of silicone!
Keep in mind this is an Etsy toy and one review said they found little hairs embedded in the silicone – probably lint I’m guessing.
It took me a second to figure out what this was. And I still had to go to the Etsy page to confirm my suspicions.
Yes, this is a silicon pad meant to grind against – with the skulls adding bumps and other sensory textures.
Kinda cool and the reviews are decent.
Franken’ [email protected]
The other Halloween list also had a pocket pussy, but with a vampire mouth opening. So it was too good a chance to pass up on adding another spooky themed masturbator.
No qualms with anything here – silicone, shape, and casing all look good.
Bad Vibes Talking Vibrator
Yes, you heard that right … “talking” vibrator.
The toy itself isn’t anything special – just a simple plastic vibe with a creepy face printed on it.
However, it’s the talking part that is “scary.” While the person is using the toy, a man’s voice gives all sort of excuses on why he can’t perform. Things like “Sorry I have to get up early tomorrow.”
Candy … Something
I’m not sure if this is even Halloween or not, but since it looked like candy corn and the beads sort of like a candy necklace, it seemed like a fun one to show off.
I would not buy it though – looks hard to clean and I have no idea what the material is.
This isn’t the name of it. I actually have no idea what this is called.
Masquerade, horror, love bunny?
I have a feeling, however, that whoever made this was going for something serious but the final product ended up looking like an armature baker trying to make something off of Pinterest and then ending up with the biggest fail ever.
Skull Cock Ring
Nothing weird here – just a silicon cock ring made to look like a skull. I like it!
It’s off of Etsy but it’s a branch sale page from Geeky Sex Toys. They’re the same people that did Thor’s Hammer dildo and Death Star ball gag.
Their R.I.P. spanking paddle (that looks like a gravestone) looks awesome too!
Want more fun holiday articles? You might like these…
Which of these would you actually try? Share in the comments!