You’re curious if is safe to have sex during pregnancy?
You’ve also probably heard a ton of rumors and “advice” from anyone and everyone who’s ever had a child – with much of it probably conflicting or leaving you even more confused.
Let’s look at the simple facts around this common question…
#1. IS SEX DURING PREGNANCY SAFE?
The short answer is – Yes, it’s safe. For a healthy and normal pregnancy, it’s fine to engage in intercourse during any trimester.
However, it’s important to remember the tags of “healthy” and “normal” – because if there are any problems with your pregnancy, then it will NOT be safe.
How do you know the difference?
Ask your doctor or health care professional if everything is okay or if you need to take extra precautions during those nine months. It’s as simple as that.
#2. WILL IT HURT THE BABY?
No, as much as men love to fantasize their penises are long enough to impale ten women at once, you won’t be able to reach the baby.
- The penis doesn’t go past the vagina during intercourse – it can’t get past the cervix
- There is also a mucus plug (that forms during pregnancy) that makes the cervix even stronger
- The baby is protected in the uterus, amniotic fluid, as well as by a thick muscular wall
The only way you could go past these defenses is if the cervix was dilated because you were actually going into labor – and any sane person knows you don’t have sex then.
#3. WILL SEX TRIGGER AN EARLY LABOR?
It’s an understandable worry.
However, having orgasms is perfectly healthy and the muscle contractions will not hurt the baby or make it jump into the world before its time. Because, when it comes to labor, (and what causes early or overdue episodes), doctors and researchers still aren’t 100% sure why the body decides to have a baby “at that moment” – The body just says, “It’s time.”
What they are sure about is something called “prostaglandins”, as well as the nature of contractions.
First, the hormone prostaglandins (found naturally in the human body as well as in semen) does help to dilate the cervix – however, that’s not enough to solely affect labor in the early (or even later stages for some people).
Second, contractions must get constantly stronger over time in order to stimulate labor – orgasms come and then subside.
“But doctors recommend sex to go into labor.”
It’s true. Sex is one in a long list of “try it and it might help” solutions to labor. Where it’s not a concern as much is with early labor – meaning, if you have sex and your baby arrives, it’s probably not because you had an orgasm.
#4. WILL SEX CAUSE MISCARRIAGES?
There are many reasons someone might miscarriage – smoking, drug usage, immune disorders, blood clotting disorders, diabetes, etc.
FOR EXAMPLE: If you have an issue that causes a weak cervix, your doctor will recommend you stay away from sex.
You might also find several articles or sites that say that sperm and uterus contractions cause early pregnancy problems – however, you’ll also find that many of these sites are only FUNDING sites or RELIGIOUS ones – not scientific studies.
The general consensus is a healthy pregnancy won’t have problems in this area.
#5. WHAT HAPPENS TO THE LIBIDO?
Your sexual experiences will be very personal, and it will drastically change from couple to couple or person to person.
Some women just don’t feel comfortable in this new stage of their body.
Add all of that with the stress and fear of parenthood.
All of this doesn’t touch on the fact that many women feel like utter crap in the first few weeks of pregnancy – and sex will be the last thing on their mind.
Others skyrocket into teenage levels or desire – with the new curves, bigger breasts, and third-trimester hormones making them want lots of pillow time.
Then there is another common situation where one person wants sex and the other has no desire whatsoever.
There’s no right or wrong here. You feel what you feel.
#6. WILL IT FEEL GOOD OR BAD?
The sensations during intercourse are as individual and unique as the effect of the sex drive.
Granted, the increased blood flow might make some women’s orgasms stronger and sex will feel better than normal. There’s also the added benefit of increased immune systems and bonding.
However other women find the sensation very uncomfortable or painful.
Follow what your body is feeling.
Learn other ways sex is great for the body:
#7. WHAT POSITIONS ARE SAFE?
There aren’t any “go-to” or “best” sex positions for when you’re expecting.
Many of your regular positions will still be available – although it’s best to stay away from Acrobatic or Cirque du Soleil levels of sexcapades (like no wheelbarrows or helicopters) or anything that puts pressure on the tummy.
So, while you’ll be able to use many of your normal positions, you’ll have to go back to experimenting with which ones are the most comfortable. Which position works for the mother could also change from day to day.
The best piece of advice is to take it slow and USE LOTS OF PILLOWS to support her back, head, neck, or tummy wherever necessary.
#8. IS ORAL OR ANAL SEX ALRIGHT?
Oral sex and anal sex are generally fine. Just make sure your partner doesn’t have any STIs that could be a problem.
FOR EXAMPLE: If your partner has an oral herpes outbreak (or thinks they’re getting one), you shouldn’t have oral sex. Or, if they have HIV and cuts in their mouth etc.
Dental Dams are also useful if you want to be extra cautious.
Learn more about safer sex here:
Another thing to avoid is blowing into your partner’s vagina – there’s a chance it could cause an embolism. It’s a small chance, but better safe than sorry.
Anal sex is okay if your partner is comfortable with it and you follow the proper anal sex steps. However, if there are any pregnancy hemorrhoids, anal sex will be a no-go (because it will hurt like hell).
What I wouldn’t recommend is jumping into anal sex for the first time while your partner is pregnant. Why? If the man does it incorrectly, it can really hurt. It also takes A LOT of relaxation on the receiver’s part (which might be hard for some women, especially when pregnant).
There’s a fair amount to learn when it comes to pleasurable anal sex. If you want to know more, I would recommend this guide to get the complete picture.
You’re probably having anal sex wrong. Learn how here:
#9. WHEN SHOULD YOU NOT HAVE SEX?
There are several things that could nudge you from “normal and healthy” into a pregnancy that you need to be more attentive and cautious with (e.g. weak cervix, history of premature labor, leaking amniotic fluid etc.).
I’m not going to list them all here. It’s better to have your normal appointments and communications with your doctor to find out if there are any issues and if sex is an option or not.
#10. AFTER PREGNANCY SEX IS A NO-NO
A woman’s body goes through hell to deliver a baby, and she will need adequate time to heal from the damage.
How much time depends on how hard the pregnancy was, how much damage was done, and her healing time.
It boils down to a combination of her doctor’s recommendations and her own personal feelings if she’s ready or not.
So, until she has recovered, no sex for you.
In general, it’s fine to have sex while you’re pregnant (assuming everything is okay). However, if you’re still worried, make sure to communicate things with your partner and then bring it up at your next appointment.
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How about you? If you’ve had kids, what happened to your sex drive? Did it spike or disappear?
Also, if you’re looking for more sexual health-related articles, you might like these:
- 10 Tips For Healthy Sperm – How to Make Your Swimmers Stronger
- 20 Reasons There’s Pain During Sex – For Woman and Men
- Oral Sex STDs 101 – Things to Know Before Opening Your Mouth
If you’re up for sharing your experiences, leave a note in the comments. It often helps to know we aren’t alone in our experiences.