Stupid Halloween Costumes – Sex and Body Edition

Halloween is fantastic because it’s the one time of year us adults get to play dress-up (at least out in public) without people looking at us in weird(er) ways. There’s everything from homemade clever costumes to the cheap, all-inclusive bagged one you see in every store. While each comes with their own pros and cons. The following costumes (in my opinion) need to be done away with … now.

I’ll also add the disclaimer that even if I’m a body-positive, sex-positive supporter of self-expressions blogger, even I can roll my eyes at some products.


Unless it’s a straight-up dick-theme party, maybe a bachelorette shin-dig, penis costumes are just so… overdone. They might have been shocking or amusing at one point, but now there are entire penis-themed products (from candy to drinking straws). It just feels unimaginative.

I’ll also include things like “fireman with his hose out”, ” snake charmer with his snake out”, “plug and socket” and other such things – yes, they are more creative, but I think the hype is gone and it’s just meh at this point.


Boobs are the same as the penis costumes – borning. Perhaps for a breast awareness event, I can see it being relevant. But you can’t walk five feet without tripping over some ad with cleavage etc.


I laughed the first time at the mammogram one, but if you Google it, my god it seems there’s at least one guy in EVERY party who thinks it’s cool. I mean do people actually get any action from these?


I saw a flasher one but it was a rubber chicken – and I’ll give points to that guy. As for the sex doll… it’s just friggin’ creepy – and not in a fun Halloween way.


I think another reason I hate these costumes is because they are easier and cheaper to make on your own – But the pad one (especially with blood) is just gross.

Yes, I’m a woman, and I don’t believe periods in and of themselves are dirty things. However, ask any woman and they’ll tell you they are not fun events in life. They are painful, bloated, and mood-altering – nothing we want to celebrate or see men having a giggle at.


We have penis costumes, I’ll also add the vagina ones. The Try Guys sort of redeemed it with their “strange costume” episode and the resulting meme is cute.

However, after I read about a Japanese woman who was sent to court for making a mold of her vagina and then making it into a kyack (while there are actual penis festivals), I would rather see the human genitals as art than a costume.  As for the boys, I also say YES – make it art.

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I guess what it all boils down to is they are SO overdone. Borning, Unimaginative. It’s the one night a year you can go crazy – why waste it on an overpriced piece of nylon that looks better on the package picture than it does on anyone’s actual body.

Want more Halloween articles, check out these…

What other Halloween are you sick of seeing? Share in the comments!

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