Guide to Beginner’s Anal Play and Anal Toys



I wrote a guide on how to have anal sex but that was more for couples who wanted to stick to penis or strapon experiences.


THIS guide, however, might mirror some advice, but it’s more for people who are simply interested in the toy aspect and more in a solo environment. Because not everyone has a partner to help them or maybe their partner just isn’t into it. Then there’s the shyness or uncertainty of trying something new.


Here’s how you can slowly get into the pleasures of anal stimulation.





Firstly, you (and many others) might be nervous or flat-out freaked about seeing poop on your toys. Let’s get that part out of the way right now. During any anal play, there is always a chance of anything from specks to a full bowel movement – it all comes down to how you prepare or how your body reacts that day.


  • Go to the bathroom first
  • Take your time to have a good bowel movement
  • Clean thoroughly after
  • If you’re having diarrhea issues, don’t practice that day


SIDE NOTE: I consider enemas to be more advanced, so we won’t touch on that in this article.





Yep, your finger. It's the smallest, and safest “toy” you’ll be able to get your hands on. Why? The sheer mental aspect of knowing you’re inserting something that is way small than what you “output” when you go to the bathroom on any given day.


Your body can comfortably handle far more than what you’re starting with. Body-to-body contact feels safer than anus-to-foreign-object for those just starting out.


  • Make sure you're the fingers you will use have been trimmed down (you don’t want scratching or micro-cuts), possibly file them down to make them smoother.


  • Either wear a latex glove, put a condom over the finger(s), or get those single “finger condoms” online (cheaper than condoms). It will make for easy cleanup.


  • If you’re really worried put a towel under you – for peace of mind or easy clean up should you have an orgasm.





This is the ultimate rule – LUBE! If you think you have enough… add more. Dry insertion will not feel good.


  • You can use water-based lube (which works for any sex toy and is easy to clean away but needs to be topped up more often).


  • You can use silicone lube (which lasts much longer, but is a bitch to clean out of sheets, and cannot be used with silicone toys).


  • Aim for a lube that is targeted for anal play because the Ph level is (or at least should be) made for the Ph levels of that part of your body (which is a different Ph than a vagina).


Learn more about lube here...

8 Best Anal Lubes You Can Get Behind


The Best Lubes - A Comprehensive Guide on the Slick Stuff





These beauties will be your best friend. They are simply a set of butt plugs that graduate in size, so you can use the bigger ones as you grow more comfortable. Make sure you get silicone or medical grade stainless steel (depending on which you prefer the feeling of and which you can afford).


They are the safest materials and non-porous.





There are two things you need to consider with materials…


1. Is it porous? If it is you’ll never be able to 100% clean it. The micro crevices will hold and germinate bacteria and other nasties.


2. Is it body-safe? Some manufacturer’s cut corners by using cheap materials. But it’s these additives or materials that can harm your body – including some of the nastiest rashes you’ll ever experience in your life.


  • Stainless steel – not cheap nickel-plated stuff
  • Pure silicone – not mixtures with other additives
  • Glass – as long as it’s made correctly and uses the right kind of glass


These are the go-tos in my opinion. Which one is up to you and if you like the feeling of something flexible or rigid. Some might also suggest TPE or TPR (rubber) because it's flexible and cheaper, but you’ll have to cover it with a condom because it’s very porous.


Learn more about glass sex toys here...


Glass Sex Toys and The Truth – Are They Really Safe?






Anal play is NOT something to rush. Even if your brain is screaming for an anal-assisted orgasm, you have to take your time. From fingers to three-foot dildos it’s important to


  • RELAX – which is the hardest obstacle to overcome. Your anal will want to clench. Don’t “force” anything past this. “Stop and go” as slowly as you need until you can fully insert.


  • There’s a “spot” where your toy will finally slide past the muscles and into the canal.


  • Let the toy sit inside you – don’t move it and let your body get used to the sensation.


  • When you’re ready, move it around slowly, experimenting with movements or micro thrusts so you can find what your body likes.





Sometimes it helps to add another sex toy like a vibrating cock ring or masturbator to help you relax. I would go with anything that is “hands-free” so you have more freedom to focus on your backside. You can also use a magic wand to stimulate the outside areas as well (to help get you ready).





When you’re just learning anal play, it’s not vital to immediately find your p-spot (prostate). But as you progress up your comfort levels, here a diagram to help you find it…



Just like women have to learn to find their g-spot, it will take time to find your magic place. But, as you can see, it’s not that far in. You can easily reach it with your fingers. If you can graduate to two, find the p-spot and gently massage it with a “come hither” motion. Experiment until you start to feel shivers up your spine.





There are some things that might make your knees weak and fantasies come so close to being true, but some of them are more for advanced users…




BUTT PLUGS – A good plus will have a tapered tip, thin neck, and flared base – FLARED BASES are important for any anal toy so it doesn’t get lost up your colon.


ANAL DILDOS – If you can find a dildo with a flared base, and in a diameter that suits you, the vibrations can do wonders for an orgasm.


INFLATABLE TOYS – I recommend these for more of an intermediate toy. You can pump them up which allows your canal to get used to bigger diameters, but that’s only if you feel like going past the diameter of your largest anal trainer. Even then you can just use dildos.




PROSTATE MASSAGERS – I say these are advanced because they A. Have a steep learning curve and B. Are not toys that deliver fast orgasms. They are the slow turtles in the rabbit race.


ANAL BEADS - These are “advanced” because your anus must be ready to “open and close” over several beads (going in AND coming out). This includes “dildos” that have the shape of anal beads.


ANAL HOOKS – Very advanced and often used in bondage and other BDSM scenes. NEVER use these as a form of suspension.


SPREADERS – Think of a flower. You close the petals, it goes in your bum, and BOOM the petals open. It literally “spreads” you.


STRAPONS – If you are ready to let someone else peg you, YOU should have at least a basic understanding of your body and what your bum can handle before you let someone else in there. You also need to be able to communicate really well during the process.


ESTIM ANAL TOYS – E-stim in general (for any toy or purpose) is considered advanced.





  • Wash your toy before AND after each use
  • Use warm water and mild soap
  • Dry thoroughly
  • Store in an individual baggie or box
  • If it vibrates, recharge fully every 6 months (regardless of usage)
  • You can sterilize (once in a while) with a 10% bleach solution (rinse well)


. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


Are there any anal veterans out there who want to add some beginner’s play advice? Share in the comments.!


If you want to go high-tech with your toys, you can try HUSH or EDGE by Lovense.


Have a pleasurable day!


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