How To Masturbate (for Men): 9 Step Orgasmic Guide

Ever wondered if you’re doing it right, or if there’s even such a thing? You’re not alone. Most of us never actually learned how to masturbate. We just figured it out along the way, fumbling through whatever felt good.

Masturbation is one of the most natural and widespread forms of sexual expression, yet it’s also one of the most misunderstood (and least talked about). Despite how common it is, masturbation has long been stigmatised, under-discussed, and even overlooked in research compared to partnered sex.

For men and people with penises, self-pleasure can be a source of comfort, curiosity, release, and real satisfaction. Still, plenty of questions linger: How often is too often? Should I be using lube? Why does it feel better some days than others? In this guide, you’ll discover how to make solo time more satisfying, safer, and even more fun.

Here’s what we’ll cover:

A clear, judgment-free breakdown of what masturbation is and why it matters
The benefits (and occasional downsides) of regular solo sessions
Step-by-step masturbation techniques for men, including ideas for mixing things up
How to enjoy porn-free play or bring in toys for more intense pleasure

What is Masturbation?
Is it Normal to Masturbate?
What Are the Benefits of Masturbation?
Understanding Your Pleasure Anatomy
How to Masturbate Properly: A Step-by-Step Guide
How to Masturbate Using Sex Toys
How to Stop Masturbating Using Porn
Masturbation Myths & FAQ
Final Thoughts on How to Masturbate

What is Masturbation?

Masturbation is the act of stimulating your own genitals for sexual arousal or pleasure (usually to the point of orgasm, but not always). For men and people with penises, this often involves touching, stroking, rubbing, or applying pressure to the penis, scrotum, or other erogenous areas using your hands, toys, or even household objects (with care, of course).

But solo play isn’t just about getting off. Common reasons people masturbate include:

Releasing sexual tension
Relaxing before sleep
Satisfying curiosity
Learning what feels good
Loving themselves through intentional touch
Simply because they’re having less partnered sex than they’d like

It can be fast or slow, focused or exploratory, physical or emotional. Some people use fantasy or porn; others just tune into their body and see where it takes them. There’s no universal way to do it, and that’s the point. It’s personal.

Is it Normal to Masturbate?

The short answer: yes. Masturbation is a normal, healthy part of your sexual development. Not only is it normal, it’s incredibly common. One study revealed that around 41% and 65% of men reported masturbating within the past month alone. Still, plenty of people quietly wonder: Am I doing it too much?

Some people go weeks without touching themselves. Others enjoy daily sessions. It all comes down to your lifestyle, stress levels, libido, and what your body feels like doing.

That said, if your solo play is:

Interfering with work, relationships, or daily responsibilities
Leaving you physically sore or emotionally drained
Tied to compulsive behaviours (like endless scrolling for porn)

…it might be time to pause and reflect. Not to feel ashamed, but to see whether you’re still in control, and still enjoying it.

At its best, masturbation is a release, not a burden. A habit, not a compulsion. A way to care for your body, not hide from it.

What Are the Benefits of Masturbation?

Masturbation can have lasting effects on your physical health, mental well-being, and even your confidence in the bedroom. For many men, regular self-pleasure becomes an important (and often underrated) part of self-care.

Physical Health Benefits

Solo play might not feel like a workout, but it actually gives your body a little boost.

Prostate Health: Regular ejaculation may lower the risk of prostate cancer. One Harvard study found that men who ejaculated 21 times or more per month had a significantly reduced risk of developing prostate cancer compared to those who ejaculated less frequently.
Improved Sleep: Post-orgasm, your body releases prolactin and oxytocin, hormones linked to relaxation and sleepiness. If you’ve ever dozed off after a session, this is why.
Circulation and Pelvic Floor Health: Arousal and orgasm increase blood flow to the genitals and engage the pelvic floor muscles, which can support long-term sexual function and erectile health.

Mental and Emotional Well-Being

Masturbation is also good for your head, literally and figuratively.

Stress Relief: Orgasms reduce cortisol, the stress hormone, while boosting dopamine and endorphins, which elevate mood.
Mood Boosts and Emotional Regulation: The release of feel-good hormones like dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins during masturbation can support greater emotional stability and help reduce feelings of anxiety and tension.
Feel-Good Autonomy: Taking time to prioritise your own pleasure can reinforce self-worth and agency, especially during times of loneliness, stress, or lack of intimacy.

Improving Sexual Skills and Confidence

Think of masturbation as practice, with real-world benefits.

Better Stamina: Understanding your arousal curve through solo play can help delay ejaculation during partnered sex. Techniques like edging (building up to orgasm and stopping before climax) can train your body to last longer.
Orgasm Control and Awareness: Masturbating helps you learn how your body reacts to different types of touch, speed, and pressure, which makes it easier to communicate what you like with a partner.
Confidence Booster: Knowing how to please yourself builds confidence, reduces anxiety, and allows you to show up in sex feeling more grounded and relaxed.

Understanding Your Pleasure Anatomy

Most guys learn the basics: penis = pleasure. But your body is full of nerve-packed zones that can unlock deeper, more varied sensations if you take the time to explore.

Let’s take a quick tour of your pleasure anatomy and what each part can actually do:

Glans (the head): One of the most sensitive spots on the body due to a high concentration of nerve endings. The ridge around the tip (called the corona) responds well to lube, soft circular strokes, or teasing fingertip pressure.
Frenulum: Just beneath the head on the underside of the penis is essentially the MVP of sensitivity for many men. This small, V-shaped band of tissue reacts strongly to gentle pressure, licking, tapping, or teasing strokes. Some men even reach orgasm from frenulum play alone.
Shaft: Different parts of the shaft respond to different kinds of touch. The underside tends to be more sensitive, and twisting motions or changes in pressure can make a big difference.
Testicles: Gentle touch, rolling, or warmth can feel incredibly grounding. Just go slow, since this area is sensitive in both good and not-so-good ways.
Perineum: The patch of skin between the testicles and anus. Applying firm, steady pressure here (with fingers or a toy) can stimulate nerves connected to the prostate and trigger deeper pleasure.
Prostate (internal): Often called the male G-spot. Located a couple of inches inside the rectum, it responds best to slow, firm pressure. With the right toy, like the Lovense Edge 2, you can experience a completely different kind of orgasm.

How to Masturbate Properly: A Step-by-Step Guide

Masturbation might seem simple, but a little intention goes a long way. By following a few simple steps, you can make the whole experience more satisfying, especially if you’re new to it or looking to break out of a routine. This guide walks you through how to masturbate with comfort, confidence, and pleasure.

1. Find a Private, Comfortable Space

Pleasure needs privacy. Choose a quiet, uninterrupted space where you feel safe and at ease, whether that’s your bed, shower, or a locked room.

💡 Accessibility tip: If comfort or mobility is an issue, consider using pillows for support, lying down in a way that reduces strain, or using hands-free toys like suction-mounted sleeves or wearable strokers.

2. Get in the Right Mindset

Masturbation isn’t just physical, it’s mental. If you’re anxious, distracted, or rushing, it can be harder to enjoy or even feel pleasure.

Give yourself permission to take your time. Set the mood with music, lighting, or even a few deep breaths. Think of it like easing into a massage: no pressure, just presence.

3. Prepare Your Body and Materials

Wash your hands and toys to reduce the risk of irritation or infection.
Grab lube. Lube improves comfort, sensitivity, and helps avoid friction-related irritation or soreness. Be sure to use a natural water-based product like Lovense’s Personal Lubricant Jelly.
Get a towel, tissues, or wipes handy for after. Nothing kills the mood like scrambling to clean up mid-session.

If you’re planning to use a toy, make sure it’s clean, charged, and ready to go. Keep things within arm’s reach to stay relaxed and in the zone.

4. Start with Gentle Touch

Don’t jump straight to the main event. Start by exploring other areas of your body, like your chest, thighs, or lower stomach, with soft strokes or gentle pressure.

Let yourself build arousal gradually. You’re warming up your body and your brain, making it easier to feel more intensely later.

5. Stimulate the Penis Shaft

Begin stroking with your hand and a generous amount of lube. Experiment with angle, rhythm, and pressure. You can try:

Long, slow strokes from base to tip
Circling the glans with your thumb
Light grip that mimics partnered touch

6. Experiment with Techniques

Changing things up prevents overstimulation and keeps your sessions engaging. Try different grips, rhythms, hand positions, or incorporate edging techniques.

Here’s a comparison table to explore:

Technique	Beginner-Friendly	Advanced Variation
Standard Grip	One hand, straight up-and-down	Twist motion or switching between hands
Two-Handed Play	One hand strokes, the other teases testicles	Both hands stroking in opposite rhythms
Edging	Pause near orgasm to build intensity	Use toys or pelvic squeezes to delay climax
Pressure Play	Light taps on the frenulum or perineum	Add a vibrator for layered stimulation
Temperature Play	Use warm lube or a heated towel	Try cool sensations or icy toys (with care)

7. Explore Other Erogenous Zones (Optional)

Don’t limit pleasure to your penis. Explore other sensitive areas to intensify arousal or add new sensations:

Testicles: Light cupping or gentle rolling
Perineum: Apply pressure between the testicles and anus (great with a toy)
Nipples and thighs: Teasing with fingers or vibration
Prostate (internal): Insert a clean, lubed finger or toy (like the Lovense Edge 2) to stimulate the male G-spot and explore entirely different types of orgasm

You don’t have to do all of this. Just know it’s there if you want to expand your experience.

8. Build to Orgasm

Once you find a rhythm that feels right, let the sensation grow. Focus on breathing and notice how pleasure builds.

If you want to prolong the session, ease off right before climax. This technique (called edging) can intensify orgasm when it arrives. You can also change positions if you’re feeling “stuck” and want a fresh feel.

9. Aftercare

Masturbation doesn’t end at orgasm. Take a few minutes to transition gently:

Clean your body and any toys you used
Drink some water or stretch
Give yourself time to rest, nap, or relax

It’s also normal to feel a little “flat” afterward. That post-orgasm drop in energy or mood is common and temporary. The important part is to treat yourself with kindness and curiosity, not judgment.

How to Masturbate Using Sex Toys

Sure, your hand knows what it’s doing, but it doesn’t vibrate, pulse, squeeze, or tease quite like a toy can. Handing over control to a toy can provide a lifelike feeling of intercourse or help stimulate erogenous zones more intensely.

Popular Toy Types (And What They Do)

Here’s a breakdown of common toys and how they enhance pleasure:

Strokers & Sleeves. Think of these as an upgraded hand. They hug the shaft and create suction or vibration.
➤ Try: Lovense Gush 2: A soft, flexible stroker that wraps around your shaft and delivers strong, customisable vibrations. Use it hands-free or manually, solo or with a partner via the app. Great for edging, slow builds, or boosting sensation mid-stroke.
Wand Vibrators. These deliver broad, rumbly vibrations ideal for external stimulation—great for teasing the shaft, frenulum, perineum, or adding intensity anywhere that likes a buzz.

➤ Try: Lovense Domi 2: A compact wand with deep, powerful vibrations that belie its size. Perfect for focused pleasure or full-body tease, it’s app-controlled, shower-safe, and built for long play sessions with up to 6 hours of battery life.

Prostate Massagers. For internal stimulation that targets the male G-spot (aka prostate), these toys can trigger powerful, full-body orgasms.
➤ Try: Lovense Edge 2: An adjustable prostate massager that hits the right spot with precision. Dual motors stimulate both internally and externally, giving you deep, hands-free orgasms you can control (or hand over) via the app.
Vibrating Cock Rings. Worn around the base of the penis to enhance erections and delay climax, while delivering strong vibrations that intensify stimulation.
➤ Try: Lovense Diamo: This vibrating cock ring enhances erection strength, delays climax, and adds a rumbling buzz to every stroke. Wear it solo or during partnered play, and sync with music, sound, or long-distance control for extra fun.

Safety & Maintenance Tips

Toys can provide more fun, but also require more responsibility. Here’s how to keep things safe and clean:

Use lube that matches the material: Water-based lube is usually safest, especially with silicone toys.
Clean your toy before and after use with mild soap and warm water, or a proper toy cleaner.
Let it dry fully before storing, and keep it in a cool, clean place (many toys come with their own bag).

How to Stop Masturbating Using Porn

While pornography can be enjoyable in moderation, today’s endless scroll of extreme content can quickly overpower our natural arousal rhythms. Pornography can be highly addictive, and research indicates that frequent consumption can lead to neurochemical and structural changes in the male brain, potentially impacting decision-making, impulse control, and emotional responses.

Watch: How Porn Changes the Brain || Neuro-Experts Explain

It’s easy to chase novelty, desensitise your body, and lose touch with what genuine, grounded pleasure feels like. Over time, this can affect everything from how long you last to how easily you’re turned on by a real-life partner, which can negatively impact relationships.

The good news? Going porn-free doesn’t mean less pleasure. In fact, it often leads to more satisfying, body-connected orgasms, better focus, and a sharper sense of what truly turns you on.

Why Try Porn-Free Masturbation?

Reset your arousal patterns: Reconnect with what excites you without relying on exaggerated visuals or endless tabs.
Improve sexual stamina and sensitivity: Many find they last longer and feel more by focusing inward, not outward.
Boost imagination and creativity: Your brain is the original fantasy machine, and it gets stronger the more you use it.
Reduce overstimulation: Constant porn can wear out your dopamine system. Less screen time = more balance.

Alternatives to Porn That Actually Work

Skip the screen and try one of these instead:

Erotic literature: Reading gives your brain space to create visuals at your own pace, often more arousing than you’d expect.
Audio erotica: Close your eyes and listen to sensual scenarios unfold. (Think: sexy podcasts, moan compilations, guided fantasies.)
Memory replay: Revisit real-life encounters or your hottest daydreams.
Fantasy writing: Sketch out a scenario that excites you—where you are, who’s there, what happens. You don’t need to be a writer; just get the details down.

🔸 Try This: Create Your Own Fantasy

Instead of opening a browser, try this interactive exercise next time:

✍️ Fantasy Builder Prompt:
“Write down a three-sentence scenario that turns you on. Focus on the setting, what’s happening, and how it feels—physically or emotionally.”

Start with something simple, like: “I’m in the shower, someone walks in unexpectedly. They grab my waist. My pulse spikes.”

Masturbation Myths & FAQ

There’s a lot of noise out there about masturbation. Some of it’s outdated, some flat-out false, and much of it leaves people more confused than confident. This section clears things up, combining myth-busting truths with quick answers to the most common questions about solo play.

Common Myths Debunked

❌ Masturbation causes blindness or hair loss
Nope. These are old scare tactics with zero scientific backing.

❌ Only people who aren’t getting laid masturbate
False. Plenty of people in healthy relationships masturbate; sometimes together, sometimes alone.

❌ Masturbation reduces testosterone
There’s no evidence it lowers testosterone levels long-term.

❌ Masturbation is addictive
Masturbation isn’t inherently addictive. But like any activity, it can become compulsive if used to avoid emotions, stress, or real-world connection. The key is balance and intention.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Is it normal to masturbate?
A: Yes. The vast majority of people do it at some point—often regularly. It’s a normal, healthy part of sexual expression.

Q: Is masturbation healthy?
Absolutely. It can relieve stress, improve sleep, boost mood, support prostate health, and help you learn what feels good.

Q: Can masturbation cause erectile dysfunction?
A: Not directly. But over-reliance on porn or tight-grip techniques can sometimes affect how you respond to real-life stimulation. Adjusting habits usually helps.

Q: Can you masturbate too much?
A: It depends on your definition. If it’s getting in the way of daily life, relationships, or causing discomfort, it may be time to adjust. What matters is how it fits into your overall well-being.

Q: Is it okay to masturbate if I’m in a relationship?
A: Yes. Many couples encourage solo play as a way to stay connected with their own pleasure and reduce pressure during partnered sex.

Q: Can masturbation affect sperm count?
Frequent ejaculation may slightly reduce sperm volume temporarily, but it doesn’t harm fertility in healthy men.

Final Thoughts on How to Masturbate

Touching yourself shouldn’t come with a rulebook or a sense of guilt. It’s one of the simplest ways to tune into your body, calm your mind, and rediscover what turns you on, without pressure, performance, or anyone else’s expectations.

Slow it down, switch things up, and let your imagination do the heavy lifting. Your hand (and body) will thank you.

Curious about trying new sensations? Sex toys can bring something entirely different to the table, with more intensity, more control, and more fun.

Explore Lovense’s sex toys for men and give solo play a serious upgrade.