10 Homemade Sex Machines And Their Inventive Masters

Timothy Archibald

There are actually MANY questions surrounding sex machines – and the big one is …

“How can I make my own?”

Short answer – you shouldn’t. But if you’re someone with a solid understanding of mechanics and other techy things, it might just be possible. After all, these ten people did it.

Find out what they made and what motivated them to do it.

Dan and Jan Siechert with The Monkey Rocker – Bakersfield, California.

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Dan: “I wanted to create a machine that someone would really want to use for themselves, something that was appealing to women and men, something silent, convenient, discreet, high-end, and attractive. Something nice that women would not be afraid to try.”

Dan actually has a very good insight into this kind of product.

Customers usually want a good range of POWER but not any obvious noise that goes with the high RPMs. Interestingly enough, the sex machines frame is the easiest to make. It’s the motor and figuring out how to not let it sound like a 747 engine that’s the trickiest part.

Dwaine Baccus – Emmett, Idaho.

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Dwaine: “The machine, it’s called ‘Two to Tango’ because it takes two people to use it. That was important to me to define when creating the thing. It takes two.

“I thought, why not turn a bicycle frame upside down? I already had some bicycle frames and crank assemblies. I just laid the parts out on the table and it looked like it would come together. After I got it up and running, jeez, it must have been a year before I could find anyone to field-test it. I didn’t have a steady or regular partner.”

What Dwaine says is true.

Speaking as someone who has tested commercial and prototype sex machines, it can be very hard to find someone brave enough to give it a go. If it’s just something you control with your own hand-power, it’s never an issue to find volunteers. But as soon as horsepower jumps into the picture, it can be way harder.

Eric – In His Garage

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…I wondered how much more real it would seem if I made an actual sex machine that was having sex with her as she was performing oral on me, or whatever. So I went out to the garage one day and started tinkering around, and eventually put together our first machine. It was powered by an electric drill.”

There are names for these kinds of products – “Drilldos”

I’ve tried a reciprocating saw one – without a blade if you have to ask – and it was intense!

Lou, from a sex machines members’ forum:

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Lou: “In my head I saw a vision — it was set in the future. The world was predominantly women. There were a few men, but most were sick with disease. I saw a place where women would go to have pleasure. It was safe, disease-free, and they could stay there as long as they wanted until they were satisfied.”

I admire innovation. I also hope that this is just the first-stage prototype. It doesn’t look like it would hold any significant weight.

Rick and Kristy Van Thiel

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Kristy: “When we opened up the shop and hung out the sign that said ‘Unique Sex Toys, Free Demos’ Rick and I agreed that I’d do the demos on the men, and he would do the demos on the women. We’d keep it polite and professional, always courteous.

“The first guy I did was a stoned, drunken pervert! I was giving him a demo of the Fucksall (a reciprocating electric saw with a dildo attached to the end) and he kept asking me to touch him. Here I am, ramming this dildo into his ass and he’s totally gross and he wants me to touch him.”

In my opinion, that’s a slippery customer service slope – figuratively and literally. I get the draw of a demonstration, but it’s no surprise that it would draw people looking for a free nut. There are, however, places that rent sex machines (cleaned of course) the person who brings it gives a VERBAL demonstration of how to use it properly…then they leave.

Marlon Rogers – Austin, Texas.

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Marlon: “I don’t remember how I stumbled across first seeing a sex machine, but upon doing so enlisted the input of a female who was sufficiently open and articulate to talk to me about the range of functionality that she would like to see in a state-of-the-art erotic device.

“I had this female over to test the machine I built. It takes a while to get a female in the mental place where they can articulate what they would like, but we put the time in and got her to explain, then adjusted the machine accordingly.”

User feedback is vital!

It’s so great that he did this. It sounds like he really cares about making something worthwhile. The adjustability aspect also looks very interesting.

Ruiin and Tuesday – Portland, Oregon.

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Ruiin: “For me, the Holy Fuck is something to have that I made. Like with sex, I’m not really into the orgasm. Tuesday got to take it out for a ride, but that’s about it. It’s not like I’m loaning out a rake to someone to use in their yard. A lot of people gross me out. I’m picky as far as who could use this thing.

“I don’t really know what we are going to do with this machine now. Halloween is coming up. I was thinking of putting a ghost on the end and setting it up in front of the house for the trick-or-treaters.”

Hey, there is always room for holiday-themed sex toys! I love this one. So cute.

The Chicken Ranch, a legal brothel in Pahrump, Nevada.

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Nirvana, administration director:

The Thrill Hammer is a 450-pound vibrator capable of vibration speeds of up to 6,500 rpm and rotation speeds of 150 rpm. It combines an antique dentist chair, a large vibrator, and a computer monitor. Four tentacles extend around the chair and hold the monitor and the lighting systems.

After the inventor, Allen Stein, sets it up in a room in the Ranch, Nirvana is not sure about it.

I’m worried about the chair. I just don’t think it will fit in. The look of the whole machine is a bit contradictory to the Chicken Ranch style. Then we have the noise – the vibration mechanism is so loud, you could hear this buzzsaw sound throughout the parlour.

We can’t have the customers listening to that during line-up.”

Dan and Jan Siechert, Again

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Jan: “It doesn’t really surprise me that Dan came up with this. We aren’t an especially sexually obsessed couple, but we are as normal and driven as other people are. Dan is a man. I mean, I don’t think he can help but think about these things, the sexual, the mechanical, the craftsmanship of it all. Men are wired to think this way.

Eric Wilson of The Love Locker, Inc – Lancaster, Ohio.

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Eric: “I knew [my wife] fantasised about being with two guys, but we weren’t ready for that. I had come across a mannequin and thought that might be a neat thing to bring into our bedroom. I got the mannequin dressed up in jeans and a work shirt, and I fit him with a dildo.

“Well, my wife and I made love using this guy, this mannequin. It really turned her on. I mean, she was into it…but not all the way.”

It’s the thought that counts! And if this guy is willing to go this far to help his wife with a fantasy, while staying true to his boundaries, good on him!

Which of these would you hop on? Share in the comments!

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