Don’t reach for the vegetables just yet!
Maybe you’re just getting into sex toys and don’t want to drop a wad of cash on something you might end up not liking.
Perhaps your monthly budget is tighter than the corset you would love to buy.
Whatever the reason, there are a ton of ways to fill your toy chest without seeing your bank account dip into the red.
ALTERNATIVES TO VAGINAL TOYS
- Electric razor – Don’t use the blade side! … duh. Like the toothbrush, there can be vibes on the back.
- Hairbrush – Use a condom-covered handle as a dildo.
- Electric toothbrush – Use the back/smooth side, not the brush side and enjoy the vibes.
- Showerhead – If it can come off the wall, the water pressure can be enjoyable.
- Vegetables – Long, firm, and tube-like. Just make sure you cover them with a condom.They are better than bananas because they don’t get squishy after you use them for a while. Although I have heard of using banana peels as male masturbators … erm …
- Wii Remote – More vibes. Wonder if you can play a game while you get off?
- Candle – If it’s a thicker one that won’t break.
- Neck of a bottle – Without a sharp lid. And it cannot be empty or create suction.
- Back massager – If you have a Hitachi wand or similar “massager” in your home already, and haven’t used it for sexy time yet, we need to have a talk.
Here’s how to make a pocket pussy…
HINT: If you find you’re not familiar with what sex toys are out there, I would recommend this article: Sex Toy Guide
NOT READY FOR KINK SHOPS YET?
- A feather duster – Another soft option you see in toy shops is feathery puffs on the end of a stick. Feather dusters (CLEAN ones) are a great substitute. Another alternative is a make-up or paintbrush (new). Use this the same way you would use the gloves I mentioned above.
- Soft gloves – These can be silk, cashmere, fur, or anything soft. Run the fuzziness along your partner’s bare skin. The gentle, tickling sensations can be very erotic.
- A spatula, belt, or fly swatter – Can’t get your hands on a paddle or flogger? Try a spatula from the kitchen. They work just as well. Books, a rolled-up magazine, sole of a slipper, your hands … anything with a firm, flat surface will dole out some great spankings.
- Ties, scarves, or stockings – Recommended for blindfolds, maybe even a loose fitting gag. It’s also a good idea to have a pair of medical scissors handy anytime you play with restraints. Also, learn the basic safe knots so you don’t cut off circulation or cause any damage.
Want some rope in your toy collection? Check out this guide:
- Velcro strips – for the more crafty among us, use strips of denim or other strong fabric with velcro strips and a leash clip to make some simple wrist cuffs.
- Clothespins – Great for nipple clamps. Just be careful how strong they are, and that they don’t pinch in unpleasant, damaging ways. Remember: don’t use anything on someone else that you wouldn’t use on yourself.
- Chopsticks and elastics – Use the elastics to secure each end of the chopsticks and made another nipple clamp option,
- Pillows – Sex pillows/triangles are expensive. Regular pillows are on your bed. Use them to prop your body into fun positions.
- Gimp mask – These are the full face masks that just leave the mouth and eyes uncovered, although some cover everything. The idea is to cover the face as much as possible to take away/hide identity, add different feelings to the skin, increase the other senses, or enhance role play. A $200 leather gimp mask outside your budget? Don’t worry. It would be for most people. Try one of those hats you wear for winter. The spandex versions work fine too.
- Latex or rubber gloves – Great for medical role plays or anal play.
- Ice cubes – Always handy in the fridge. Hot cold sensations in sensitive areas can make your partner squirm, squeal, and/or moan. Just be careful you don’t leave the ice too long in one place.
- Wiffle balls – Wiffle balls are golf balls with holes in them. Put a tie through it and use as a ball gag. Make sure it’s sterilized.
- Paint stick or doweling rod – Good for spanking.
TRY WITH CAUTION
- Washing machine, dryer, cell phone – More vibrating things. Lean, press, or gyrate against them.
- Cling wrap – Useful for bondage. Make sure you have medical scissors on hand if you need to cut out your partner in an emergency. Never put over the mouth or nose.
Want your own kink space? Check out this article:
Insane things knocking around the internet I wouldn’t recommend at all…
- Tea lights or other candles – Wax play is awesome. Wax play with candles found around your house is NOT. Different candles burn at different temperatures (most are too hot to be put on the skin).
- Macaroni and Cheese as a Pocket Pussy Filler – Who in the hell would want to fuck this? I’d be too distracted with wanting to EAT it. If you want to make a Fifi (pocket pussy), sponges or padding is a far better choice than something that could spoil and end up smelling worse than your gym bag on a hot day.
- A balloon – What if it breaks?! There are better, firm things to rub against. Latex gloves are much better.
- Vacuum – I know there are suction sex toy devices out there, but some vacuums suck REALLY hard! It just sounds so painful.
- Scrunchie as a cock ring – As a dirty, little gift, I totally get it. But as an actual cock ring … em … Maybe if it was just those plain hair elastics, but not the ones with beads and stuff all over them, they could scrape!
- An old rosary as an anal bead – WHAT?! No. Just no.
This is just a sample of what is lying around the house – things you can use when in a kinky-bind. Just make sure to take the proper safety and health precautions.
If all else fails, take a trip to your local hardware store for some inspiration.
Have any other suggestions? Share in the comments!