What is Tantric Sex? A Simple Guide Without the Spiritual

Curious about Tantric sex? Many people are.

It’s seen as this mysterious, 5000-year-old sexual experience reserved for Sting and hardcore spiritualists.

But that’s just not true.

Yes, Hindus and Buddhists swear it’s the ultimate connection of two people in extremes that reach deity level. However, it can be as simple as:

  • You want something new to try in bed
  • You want to reconnect with your partner
  • You want to increase intimacy
  • You want better foreplay


The basic idea is…

You put more time and effort into the act of sex rather the end goal of orgasm, and therefore (hopefully) receive a greater payout.

Some compare it to a great road trip – it’s the journey that takes center stage, not the final destination. Another comparison would be something akin to having a takeaway meal versus a 5-star dinner. You can enjoy both, but constant fast food can sometimes leave you craving more.

It’s not to say that Tantric sex doesn’t have the orgasmic end regular sex does, it just not what you’re aiming for. There also might not be an obvious start, middle, and ending to the act.

Tantric sex is slow, intimate, and can lead to deeper connections, deeper orgasms, and a mindfulness of whatever connections you are looking for – whether mind, body or soul.

  • It aims to heighten the senses
  • It encourages vulnerability
  • It strives for self-understanding
  • It seeks to be more giving

As far as the spiritual or ritualistic aspects, there can be as much or as little (or zero) as you want. There doesn’t need to be preaching about Mother Earth, mantras, or color therapy unless you and your partner want that.

And if that’s what you want, I would invest in a detailed book, weekend course, or expert mentor that knows about Kundalini and cracking open your chakras.



  • Forget having an orgasm. This doesn’t have to be a bad thing, by the way.
  • It doesn’t have to be a marathon. There is such a thing as a tantric quickie.
  • You don’t need a partner. You can have a tantric experience while masturbating etc.
  • Shut out all other distractions. Turn off your phone and the TV.
  • Create a sensual environment. Candles, nice smells etc.
  • Avoid the bed. It’s associated with sleep or regular sex.
  • Keep your eyes open. You should be looking at your partner. This is very important for deeper bonding.
  • And a big one…Practice breath exchange

Breath exchange doesn’t mean you’ll be breathing into each other’s mouths. It means you sync your breathing. So as one breathes out, the other breathes in. It teaches you mindfulness of the other person and gives you something to focus on – especially if your mind starts to wander.


  1. Sit on your partner, facing them
  2. Wrap your legs around their waist
  3. Start with breath exchange
  4. Slowly move into kissing and caressing
  5. Focus on your partner’s reaction to your touch
  6. Eventually, move into slow intercourse
  7. Finish with or without an orgasm
  8. Cuddle

See, not all that difficult or unobtainable as some make it out to be.

Also, if you’re looking for more sex or sexual health-related articles, you might like these:

Do you have any other tantric sex advice? Share in the comments!

2 thoughts on “What is Tantric Sex? A Simple Guide Without the Spiritual

  1. Tantric sex is also about controlling impulses. Learning to breathe evenly when your impulse is to hold or hitch your breath. Keeping your eyes opened (which you mentioned) when the impulse is to shut them tightly. Also, relaxing your body when the impulse is to tense up when arousal builds up.

  2. I started looking for magic young in life. I read books and experimented lots. There is some good information on line to start with. This is a deep subject and will take much practice to get much out of. But well worth it.

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