I recently took the plunge and decided to try out one of the dating apps. It was a very “meh, fuck it” moment. So, I signed up, posted my profile and prepared for dick pics. In the meantime, I swiped away – for far more lefts than rights…
And here’s where I discovered something.
Most pic collections are not that great. Here’s my own personal list of things that I did not like and often made me pass on the person…
SUNGLASSES – Yes, sunglasses are okay. After all, it’s sunny sometimes. But when you’re entire profile is you in shades (and I can’t see your eyes). It’s often an auto pass. It might be unnecessary, but it’s a personal peeve.
MUG SHOT FACE – I saw far too many guys trying to do the smoldering look, but it just ended up looking like they were annoyed because they were arrested for stealing a car. It’s okay if you don’t like your smile – I’m not a fan of mine. But you can have a variation with your face.
BUM PICS – I guess because people can’t send dick pics that bum photos are the next step. Usually, they are far away and someone standing in the ocean. Okay, it does tell me that the person is a bit of an exhibitionist, but I feel like it’s a waste of pic slots for images that can tell me more about you.
PETS GALORE – You’re a pet person? Cool! But I got really annoyed when the person’s face was blocked by a fluffy kitty or doggo – or that all the pics were of them and the pet.
HIDE NO SEEK – what’s with tilting the face away from the camera? Unless it’s a sports pic, I don’t get it.
BLURRY BAY – Ugh. This is just photography 101. Far too many were pictures of some blurry humanoid shape. Another peeve was a pic that was rotated the wrong way. Remember, people are reacting within seconds, don’t make it extra harder for them.
SINGLE GLIMPSE – Just one photo? What does that tell me about you? Please, put in something about hobbies, likes, places traveled, etc. If I want to see more, you’re already doing great – give a few more at least.
SEEING DOUBLE – It might just be a mistake sometimes, but I’ve seen some that were literally the same photo uploaded twice. Or… different photos that are just slight variations of each other (eg, head tile, different smile).
BLANKS – I 100% will NOT swipe right if the image is a plain square or something that is not the person.
STILL LIFE – Love climbing? Cool! A drummer? I totally have the hots for drummers. What I don’t like is just seeing an object (like just the guitar). Against, it’s wasting a slot that you could otherwise use to make me want to read your bio or message you.
MASKS – The trend now is face masks. If you want to seem responsible, okay. However, if every pic has your face covered, it makes me think you’re more interested in robbing a bank than having a drink.
TRAVELING – Have a favorite place you want to show off? Do it! The thing to avoid is making ALL your photos just of places you’ve traveled and nothing of you.
BUSINESS LOOK – I don’t know how to explain it. It’s like those LinkedIn business pics where someone is holding their chin to look professional. It’s totally personal, but I just laugh. It’s a bit cringy.
All in all, these issues are easy to fix. It will take (at most) a day to collect five or six good images that will tell a story and make someone want to look further.
What are some things you hate about dating app photos? Share in the comments!