Things dwindling in the bedroom? Maybe it’s already as dry as the Savannah desert.
If so, don’t despair. All couples will hit this sort of patch, whether from monotony/habit of living, stress, other priorities, or just drifting apart.
What’s frustrating is when you’re in a rut but your partner isn’t. Or worse, you’re both there.
The bad news, it sometimes feels like a huge effort to bring back the spark. The good news, it’s only really in the beginning. It’s like those damn one-match fires that take FOREVER to get going, but when they do … watch out! You’re gonna burn down an entire forest.
Here are 100 ways to add some heat…
- Put candles around the room
- Caress more often
- Hold hands more often
- Take care of your body (It helps the libido)
- Find ways to relax and combat your stress levels
- Have some PDAs (public displays of affection)
- Give compliments – it’s even better if it’s the little things you notice
- Try to have more sex (more sex increases the libido)
- If you don’t usually give lots of hugs and kisses, start giving them!
- Try even if you aren’t “into it” (don’t forget lube)
SPLURGE SOME $$$
- Book a mystery vacation for your partner
- Visit a sex store together
- Buy each other a secret sex toy
- Buy new panties or underwear
- Buy a sex position book
- Spend a night in a hotel
- Relive your honeymoon
- Surprise each other with little gifts
Not sure what underwear to buy? Read this guide first:
- Explore your fetishes
- Try a cock ring
- Try some role play Try a striptease
- Don’t know how to strip? Take lessons.
- Go to a strip club together
- Wear each other’s underwear
- Both wear an anal plug while having sex
- Get into some light bondage – tie each other up
- Go to a BDSM or Fetish club – there is something for everyone
- Go to a bar and act like you are strangers
- Do it in a place with more people but privacy. Like a bathroom
- Break out the video camera and record your sex session (and watch it later)
- Have sex somewhere you could get caught
- Try a sex pillow
- Try some sex furniture
- Break out some leather or latex clothing
BE TECH SAVVY
- Toss in some sexting
- Play erotic online games together
- Send naked snapshots
- Use an app or remote-controlled sex toys
Control your partner’s sex toy from anywhere!
USE YOUR MOUTH
- Eat some aphrodisiacs
- Talk dirty during sex
- Talk dirty on the phone
- Focus on some oral sex
- Eat strawberry and chocolate fondue
- Make your partner remove clothing with their teeth
BE ROMANTIC OR SIMPLY NICE
- Write a love poem
- Watch a sunrise
- Write them a song
- Act out your first date
- Take an evening stroll
- Leave notes in unexpected places
- Make out in between commercials
- Sit by a fire with your favorite drinks
- Have a nice, long talk about the good things
- Use flower petals to make a trail somewhere in the house – have a surprise waiting there
- Play with extended teasing
- Use sex toys during sex
- Try some sleazy lingerie
- Watch adult videos together
- Wear something sexy or enticing as a surprise
- Try ice cubes – hot and cold sensations are awesome
- Break out the blindfold – it will increase the other senses
- Try to make your partner moan, while they try not to
- Try an erotic massage, throw in some edible oils.
BREAK OUT OF ROUTINE
- Do it in a different room
- Do it on a different piece of furniture
- Try positions you rarely/never use
- Have a dinner in something nice
- Reserve a date night
- Change up the power dynamic
- Have a shower together
- Put on some music during sex
- Have sex during a different time of day
- Play hookie from work and spend the day together
- Forget the housework – leave it there and focus on each other
- Take a drive and do it in a new place (in or out of the car is your choice)
- Spend a day or two apart. When you see each other you’ll realize how much you’ve missed them.
DO FUN THINGS
- Go dancing
- Have a naked day
- Play sexy truth or dare
- Play sexy drinking games
- Leave messages on mirrors
- Play strip poker – or whatever strip game you both like
- Make sexy coupons they can redeem whenever they want
- Learn something new together – bonding experiences are great!
- Make your partner guess what you are wearing under your clothes
- Play “You cannot say” game – (eg. You cannot say “Me” for 30 minutes) – loser has to give the winner … something *wink*
Need more sexy game ideas?
- Try some spanking
- Use a blindfold
- Admit a dirty, sexy secret
- Use only your hands
- Keep your high heels on
- Have a bath together
- Read an erotic book together
- Lick things off your partner’s body
- Put on red (some men react well to crimson)
- Play with some “sex dice” or adult playing cards
- Tie them up to the bed … or other things … and use them how you want
- Masturbate to get into the mood – in front of your partner
- Agree to be their “slave” for a set period of time. Don’t forget your communication beforehand and safety words.
ALL of these suggestions might not work (or be possible for everyone). But, hopefully, there’s enough there to get you on your way.
A BONUS suggestion?
Go through this list and schedule/plan all the things you would like to do, OR put them in a jar and lucky draw one each day.
Which were your favorites? Any other ideas? Share in the comments!