Now, considering we strive for no shame and general acceptance of all-things-sex on this blog, it’s important to note that when we say “weirdest porn” it might be better to coin it as “genres that aren’t as mainstream.” But the Google algorithm is a mean bitch and so we’re stuck with certain titles.
With that aside, we found 10 genres that don’t really make it onto Pornhub’s top 10. However, there is a niche of people that love to watch it.
- JAPANESE NEWSCASTER PORN
The minutes you read “Japanese”, there should have been no surprise that something out of bounds was coming. They invented tentacle porn after all. In this case, Japanese newscaster porn features ladies dressed in traditional news anchor suits, actually trying to read you some news of the day.
The catch? During her speech, there are guys trying to do all sorts of things to her – starting with stripping and ending with whatever your imagination can come up with.
- FELCHING PORN
When it comes to sex, felching is the act of sucking up semen from an orifice – sometimes with a straw. For example, a partner can come in someone’s anus and another can slurp it up with a twisty straw (swallowing optional).
There are entire porns that focus on this act. But, for obvious reasons, the healthcare world strongly recommends you don’t partake because of STI risks (and we agree).
- FISH PORN
Well, we thought the annual Carp Calendar was eye-bulging. But it seems we were wrong. Things have taken another huge leap.
In these videos, you’ll see men force fish to suck on their dicks or just people getting sea life to do all sorts of nasty things. You name it – dolphins, eels, turtles – if it’s in the water, it’s fair game. And if you were wondering, yes, this is bestiality. I would definitely put this as a top contender for the weirdest porn.
- YIFF PORN
The Furry community gets a bit of a bad rap because of YIFF. Then again, if consenting adults want to dress up in furry costumes and get busy, it’s nobody’s business. So, you can imagine there is a ton of porn out there in this genre because it’s actually a very popular thing. Also, this is one genre that is different from the others on the list. There is a huge amount of artwork that features humanoid animals getting it on (complete with impressive storylines). In many cases, the artistry can be at professional-looking levels!
- CUMMING ON FIGURINES
Yes, this is exactly what you think it is. There are hundreds of videos of men jerking off and coming onto things like Barbies, Transformers, GI Joes, or My Little Ponies. If it’s a figurine, there’s probably a video out there with it covered in jizz.
I’m not sure why there is a niche draw for this. Maybe it’s the taboo of “soiling” something from childhood? Or perhaps there’s just an object fetish involved?
- CLOWN PORN
I’m one of those people that finds clowns unnerving. So, I’m sorry, but clown sex would just freak me the hell out. Still, there they are on film – complete with curly wigs and red, squeaky noses. It can become even harder to watch when the actor goes the “terrifying clown” route. Like a horny pennywise.
- SANTA CLAUS PORN
Stats released by Pornhub back in 2016, searches for ‘Santa’ on its platform increased 447% at Christmas time. Searches for “Naughty Santa” go up by 729%. “Sexy Santa” also increases by 397%, and “Santa’s little helper” increases by 808%.
Clarissa Bloom, a sex and relationship expert, told BBC Three. “Santa is actually quite a dominant character, who will either reward you for being a good boy or girl or will punish you for being bad, which can play into a desire for control and submission.” I guess that makes sense.
- MONSTER OR KAIJU PORN
“Kaiju (Japanese: 怪獣, Hepburn: Kaijū, lit. ’Strange Beast’) is a Japanese genre of films and television featuring giant monsters. The term kaiju can also refer to the giant monsters themselves, which are usually depicted attacking major cities and battling either the military or other monsters.” ~ Wikipedia.
We’re already familiar with these – things like Godzilla. But all you have to do to imagine what this porn is like it take Godzilla and have him bang Mothra.
- TOOTHLESS GRANNY PORN
There’s already a popular genre for older women in skin flicks. And there have been plenty of movie jokes about the best blow jobs given by grannies with no teeth. So I suppose it was inevitable? The thing is it’s not just about the fact they don’t have teeth. They are waving their dentures around during the film as well.
- MENSTRUATION PORN
Okay, this one I could get on board for. Not because I find blood appealing. But because periods are just part of a woman’s life. And, fun fact, many ladies get extra-horny around that time of the month. I think normalizing period sex through porn isn’t weird at all.
However, on the other side, I totally understand that some people have a very real physical reflex at the sight of blood in general. But, there are people who love the taste of blood or who have vampire fetishes. So, to each their own, I guess. Then again, that’s the theme with everything on this list.
WEIRDEST PORN – CONCLUSION
Looking closer at some of these, they might not seem that strange after all. And how about you dear reader? Are any of these porn genres near and dear to your heart? How about you share in the comments and explain why it’s appealing about some of these weirdest porn categories? We love to be educated on this blog!
