Having a Threesome with a Sex Toy: When it comes to sexual fantasies, having a threesome is always in the top 5 for the general public. The idea of having an extra set of … whatever … can be very titillating. However…
Threesomes aren’t easy things to navigate – and I’m not talking about simply finding someone you click with and can trust (which is a whole other can of worms). There are deep caverns of insecurities and tumultuous rivers of other emotions that most people deal with at the mere mention of the idea of another person touching their partner.
And while having a threesome might sound like a dream, it might be something that could severely damage a relationship if it’s not in a very secure, healthy place. But thankfully, there’s a solution – sex toys! This article will also look at other important points such as how to talk to your partner and how to deal with other issues that might pop up.
Table of Contents
- Using Sex Toys When Having a “Threesome”
- Sex Toy Recap:
- Potential Issues with Having a Threesome with a Sex Toy
- Having a Threesome – How to Do It (Tips for Setting It Up)
- Safety and Consent
- Cleaning Up and Other Useful Tips
- Final Thoughts on Having a Threesome
- Want More Reads?
Using Sex Toys When Having a “Threesome”
With all the options out there, there are mountains of sex toy options that will give you the “illusion” of another person – or at least the pleasure of one.
- Sex machines allow one person to be penetrated while having oral sex with their partner. Or you can indulge in some double penetration. The upside is that these machines are super-powerful and don’t go kaput like normal sex toys. The downside is that any decent one isn’t going to be cheap.
- Bonus – Some sex machines have attachments that let you affix a masturbator to the end (such as a Fleshlight).
- Dildos can give the same pleasure as a sex machine, but you’ll have to have at least one hand free to work the toy. They will be much cheaper and perhaps let your partner feel more comfortable when it comes to things like double penetration (especially if they’ve never done it before).
- Vibrators are a step up from dildos because they … well … vibrate! But like dildos, if you can find a thrusting one with a suction cup, you can attach the toy to a non-porous wall or floor to leave your hands free for other things.
- Blindfolds are an excellent addition because they can help your imagination run wild in thinking there is a third person there.
- Anal Toys can work too (like butt plugs or prostate massagers), but just make sure they have a flared base to nothing slips in and gets lost up there.
- Vibrating Nipple Clamps will let you feel like someone is playing with your breasts while your partner works magic in other areas.
- And, if you have A LOT of money, you could even get a sex doll!
So, you see how simply by adding a sex toy to please another part of the body, you can bridge that fantasy gap without having to invite another warm body into the bedroom.
However, there are toy brands that have gone high-tech and have apps that will allow someone to control the toy from far away or Bluetooth if they nearby. If you and your lover are okay with the idea of giving control of a sex toy to someone (and having them somewhere else) that can be a sexy option as well.
IDEA – Have some porn running in the background so it sounds like another person is there. Could be fun for some people.
Sex Toy Recap:
| Toy type | How it creates the “threesome” feeling | Tips for use |
|---|---|---|
| Sex machines | Provide thrusting penetration while your partner focuses on oral or manual play, simulating multiple partners. | Position near the bed for easy switching; start on lower speeds before ramping up. |
| Dildos | Allow one partner to “double up” on penetration while still being hands-on. | Use with plenty of lube; suction-cup dildos free up hands for other stimulation. |
| Vibrators | Add extra stimulation so it feels like another set of hands is in the room. | Choose versatile models (wand or bullet) to target multiple body parts. |
| Anal toys | Simulate the sensation of double penetration or a third person’s focus. | Always choose toys with a flared base; start with smaller sizes for comfort. |
| Blindfolds | Heighten imagination and create the illusion of an unseen third partner. | Pair with whispered roleplay or background audio (like porn) for immersion. |
| Nipple toys (clamps, vibrators) | Add the sensation of someone else stimulating your chest while your partner focuses elsewhere. | Adjustable pressure and vibration let you customize intensity. |
| Sex dolls or strokers | Offer the physical presence of a third body or provide extra stimulation to one partner. | High investment; best for couples comfortable experimenting with larger props. |
| App-controlled toys | Bring a remote “third” into the mix, even from afar. | Let your partner hand over control for a surprise, or invite a trusted long-distance partner virtually. |
Potential Issues with Having a Threesome with a Sex Toy
Insecurity and Jealousy
The biggest issue you might face is having a lover who finds sex toys threatening (sorry lads, but it’s usually the guys). Some partners feel like a “buzzy friend” between the sheets diminishes their worth or makes them less desirable. Others fear their partner will end up liking the toy more than them.
Remind them that a toy is just that — a device. You can’t form an emotional attachment to bits of silicone or steel. (It’s no different than asking if someone could fall in love with their coffee maker.) Talk openly, try toys in small steps, and keep checking in about what feels good.
Budget Concerns
Another hurdle is cost. Toys can be anywhere from budget-friendly to very expensive. Look for body-safe materials, warranties, and reviews before buying. If there’s a high-end toy you really want, wait for sales or holidays — Lovense often runs promotions.
Timing and Integration
Even with the right toys, figuring out when and how to introduce them can be awkward. Don’t rush. Start with one toy, take it slow, and talk about how it felt after. Gentle, supportive communication encourages your partner to keep experimenting.
Having a Threesome – How to Do It (Tips for Setting It Up)
- Talk first, play later – Discuss boundaries, fantasies, and safe words before trying anything new. Knowing what’s off-limits builds trust.
- Start small – Introduce one toy at a time so nobody feels overwhelmed. Build up gradually.
- Set the mood – Create the right atmosphere with lighting, music, or even porn in the background to enhance the illusion of a third presence.
- Balance attention – Make sure both partners get equal focus so no one feels left out. Switch roles and share control of the toys.
- Use safe words and check-ins – Agree on signals to pause or stop if something feels uncomfortable.
- Stay flexible – If something doesn’t work, laugh it off and try something else. The goal is connection and fun, not perfection.
Safety and Consent
No matter how adventurous your play gets, consent and safety should always be the foundation. Threesomes — even toy-based ones — work best when both partners feel respected, supported, and secure. Before you start experimenting, make sure to cover these essentials:
- Enthusiastic consent – Both partners should clearly agree to try it. If anyone feels pressured, pause the idea and revisit it later.
- Set boundaries in advance – Decide what’s on the table and what’s off-limits. Having this clarity avoids misunderstandings mid-play.
- Check in often – Use quick verbal cues or even safe words to keep things comfortable. A simple “yes,” “pause,” or “no” keeps communication clear.
- Protect your body – Use condoms or toy covers when sharing toys, and stick to body-safe materials like medical-grade silicone or stainless steel.
- Keep toys clean – Wash toys before and after use, and follow the manufacturer’s care instructions.
- Go at your own pace – There’s no rush. If something feels overwhelming, slow down or try a simpler version first.
- Respect aftercare – Talk, cuddle, or relax together afterward. Processing the experience helps both partners feel valued and connected.
By treating safety and consent as non-negotiable, you’ll turn the fantasy into something that builds trust rather than creates stress.
Cleaning Up and Other Useful Tips
A great threesome experience isn’t just about what happens during play — the before and after matter just as much. Here are some practical tips to make things smoother:
Before Play
- Prep your toys – Make sure everything is charged, batteries are ready, and attachments are clean. Nothing kills the mood like stopping to search for a charger.
- Stock the essentials – Have plenty of lube (preferably water-based), towels, and wipes within arm’s reach.
- Set the space – Adjust lighting, change sheets, and make the room comfortable so you can focus on pleasure, not distractions.
During Play
- Keep towels nearby – A quick grab prevents spills from interrupting the flow.
- Stay hydrated – A glass of water at the bedside helps keep energy up.
- Switch things up – Rotate positions and toy use to keep both partners equally engaged.
After Play
- Clean toys right away – Use warm water and toy-safe soap or a toy cleaner. Leaving them unwashed can cause bacteria buildup.
- Change bedding – Fresh sheets signal a reset and keep things hygienic.
- Do aftercare – Whether it’s cuddling, a snack, or just talking through the experience, aftercare keeps intimacy strong.
- Check in emotionally – Ask your partner how they felt, what they enjoyed, and what they’d like to try differently next time.
These little steps ensure the experience feels intentional, safe, and enjoyable from start to finish — not just in the heat of the moment.
Final Thoughts on Having a Threesome
Remember, don’t skimp on the foreplay and have plenty of lube on hand (water-based). With all of this, you’ll be able to give that threesome itch a really good scratch without having to invite someone over!
How about you dear readers? Any other suggestions you want to share to make a threesome with only two people a raging success?
Want More Reads?
- Spice Up Your MMF Bi Threesome: Recommended Sex Toys & Tricks
- Triple the Fun: Unveiling the Secrets to a Successful Threesome
- Best App-Controlled Strokers: Upgrade Your OS (Orgasm System)
