Curious about trying anal play together but not sure where to start? Once a whispered topic, it’s now a more open—and exciting—part of many couples’ sex lives. His and hers butt plugs are a popular choice for shared exploration. Why? Anal stigma is fading, tech is smarter (hello, app-controlled toys), and even Netflix is in on the backdoor conversation.
While many guides use “his” and “hers” for simplicity, this one’s for everyone—regardless of gender, orientation, or relationship structure. Whoever you are, the tips and toys ahead are here to help you explore together.
In this guide, you’ll discover:
- The top reasons couples explore butt plugs together, and why it’s worth a try
- What to look for when choosing a plug for each partner
- Our top picks for his and hers butt plugs, from beginner-friendly to app-controlled powerhouses
- Tips for safe, fun, and confident play as a couple
Table of Contents
- Why Do People Wear Butt Plugs (Especially as a Couple)?
- His vs. Hers: Do You Really Need Different Butt Plugs?
- What to Look For in Couples’ Anal Toys
- Best Overall for Couples – Lovense Hush 2
- Where to find His and Her Butt Plugs
- How to Use Butt Plugs as a Couple: Safety, Consent & Fun
- Beginner Mistakes to Avoid
- Long-Distance and Public Play: What to Know
- Aftercare and Progression
- Troubleshooting and Managing Concerns
- Conclusion
Why Do People Wear Butt Plugs (Especially as a Couple)?
Let’s take a quick step back by clarifying: what exactly makes butt plugs stand out from other anal toys? Unlike dildos or beads, plugs are designed for hands-free wear and a sustained sense of fullness. That means they’re not just a toy for a moment; they’re something you can wear during foreplay, penetrative sex, oral, or even while doing the laundry (hey, no judgment).
So why are people so into plugs in the first place? And what’s in it for couples?
The short answer? Pleasure, intimacy, and connection. Each with a slightly different twist depending on the person and the dynamic.
Shared Pleasure, Amplified
Butt plugs can offer more than just physical sensation. For many couples, they add a layer of intimacy, anticipation, and mutual curiosity that enhances the entire experience—before, during, and after sex.
- For her, a butt plug can boost stimulation by adding internal pressure that makes the clitoris and G-spot more responsive. Since the anus is full of nerve endings, even light pressure can trigger unexpected pleasure.
- For him, prostate stimulation can lead to deeper, longer, sometimes hands-free orgasms. The steady fullness also heightens every other sensation, from a partner’s touch to the build-up of climax.
- For both, it’s about more than sensation. It’s the thrill of knowing one is being worn during foreplay—or out in public. That shared secret, slow anticipation, and satisfying fullness create a charged, intimate connection.
“Anal play is about unlocking new pleasure zones. When you remove shame, you make space for more joy.”
More Than Just a Physical Experience
Plug play can be deeply intimate—a shared experience of trust, curiosity, and exploration. It often brings couples closer through communication and a willingness to learn together.
Some use plugs as prep for anal sex, others simply enjoy the sensation. There’s no right or wrong—only what feels good and consensual for both of you.
His vs. Hers: Do You Really Need Different Butt Plugs?
Not all bodies (and not all butts) experience pleasure in the same way. For people with prostates, a plug with a curved or angled shape can provide targeted P-spot stimulation, delivering deep, internal pleasure. For those without a prostate, the focus is often on pressure, fullness, and increased sensitivity around the anal area and vaginal wall.
That’s why some couples opt for two different plugs—not necessarily labelled “his” and “hers,” but chosen to match their anatomy and comfort levels. A first-timer might want something slim and smooth, while their partner might prefer something larger or vibrating.
It’s also worth noting that gendered labels don’t always fit real-life bodies or dynamics. Whether you’re sharing one toy or picking a matched pair, the key is finding what feels good for you. There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to anal play, and that’s part of the fun.
What to Look For in Couples’ Anal Toys
Choosing the right butt plug isn’t just about picking something that looks good—it’s about comfort, safety, and pleasure for both partners. If you’re shopping as a couple, it helps to think about each person’s needs, preferences, and experience level. Whether you’re looking for a plug to wear together in the bedroom or while miles apart, here’s what to consider:
Size and Shape: Why ‘Bigger’ Isn’t Always Better
- Starting small isn’t a sign of inexperience—it’s smart. What works for one partner might not feel good for the other, and that’s part of the fun.
- One of you might prefer a slim, tapered plug to ease in gently. The other might want something heavier for a fuller feel. There’s no standard—just what feels right.
- Exploring those preferences together can be intimate. Talking, testing shapes, and checking in often becomes its own kind of foreplay.
- The one non-negotiable? A flared base. It’s essential for safety and comfort, keeping the toy from slipping inside during play.
Material Matters: Silicone vs. Glass vs. Metal
The material you choose plays a big role in both comfort and safety:
- Silicone is soft, body-safe, non-porous, and flexible—perfect for beginners or anyone who values comfort.
- Glass plugs are smooth, temperature-play friendly, and easy to clean, but offer no flexibility.
- Metal plugs (like stainless steel) are sleek and provide intense pressure and weight, ideal for more experienced users.
Whichever you choose, make sure it’s body-safe and non-porous. No jelly toys, please, and always pair silicone toys with water-based lube.
Why Remote and App Control Is a Fun Option for Couples
If you want to take your plug-play to the next level, app-connected toys are where things get exciting. Whether you’re in the same room or across the world, app syncing lets one partner take control while the other enjoys the ride.
This is where Lovense’s Hush 2 shines. With Bluetooth and long-distance app capabilities, you can create custom vibration patterns, sync to music, or hand over control to your partner in real time. It’s playful, interactive, and incredibly intimate—especially for couples in long-distance relationships or just looking to spice up a night in.
Best Overall for Couples – Lovense Hush 2
Credit: Lovense
Accessible at: https://www.lovense.com/vibrating-butt-plug
If you’re looking for a plug that brings connection, customisation, and deep pleasure to both partners—no matter the distance—the Lovense Hush 2 delivers. Designed with couples in mind, it offers four different sizes, making it easy for each partner to find their perfect fit. And with powerful Bluetooth and app-based control, it’s just as fun in the same room as it is across time zones.
- Standout features:
- App control & programmability: Create and sync unlimited custom vibration patterns.
- Remote control support: Partners can control the vibe in real time, even from afar.
- IPX7 waterproof and USB-rechargeable for ease and convenience
- Pros:
- Customisable, unlimited patterns via app
- Four sizes for personalized fit, ranging from 1” to 2.25” diameter
- Fully waterproof and body-safe silicone
- Cons:
- Requires app setup for connected play (though user-friendly)
Where to find His and Her Butt Plugs
- Lovehoney – Global leader offering a massive range of top brands, frequent bundles, and expert guides.
- PinkCherry – Canadian-based online retailer known for deep discounts and broad brand variety.
- Babeland / Good Vibrations – Inclusive, education-focused shops with strong in-store and online presence.
- EdenFantasys – Long-running U.S. retailer with a wide product mix, discreet service, and active review community.
- Ann Summers – UK high-street chain blending mainstream appeal with multi-brand offerings.
- Bellesa Boutique – Stylish, community-focused site offering curated picks across trending and luxury brands.
- Nordstrom (Wellness section) – Upscale retailer now offering designer toys and accessories in a curated catalog.
- SheVibe – Comic-style, kink-positive retailer known for variety, transparency, and strong indie brand support.
- The Pleasure Chest – Historic boutique chain with progressive education and multi-brand selection.
- Adam & Eve – One of the oldest U.S. adult retailers, with everything from beginner toys to fetish gear.
- TooTimid – U.S.-based retailer focused on discreet shipping and approachable, beginner-friendly product ranges.
How to Use Butt Plugs as a Couple: Safety, Consent & Fun
Trying something new should feel exciting—not overwhelming. Here’s how to start with care, consent, and connection:
🗣 Start with a Conversation
- Share interests, curiosities, and hesitations
- Set clear boundaries and agree on a safe word
- Decide who’s in control and how to switch it up
💧 Use Lube—Generously
- The body doesn’t self-lubricate here—lube is a must
- Choose water-based, body-safe lubricant
- Reapply often—more is better
🐢 Start Small and Slow
- Use a small, tapered, flexible plug
- Take your time with insertion and movement
🧘 Try Comfortable Positions
- Spooning: Relaxed, easy to control
- Receiver on top during oral: Adds stimulation
- Mutual masturbation: Share the experience without pressure
⏱ Start with Short Sessions
- 5–15 minutes is plenty at first
- Gradually increase as comfort builds
🗣 Focus on Feedback
- Use simple check-ins like:
- “Is that okay?”
- “Want more or less?”
- “Should I stop or keep going?”
🧼 Hygiene Before & After
- Clean toys with warm water and mild, unscented soap
- Use condoms if sharing toys
- Bathroom + gentle wash before play is enough for most
- Have clean towels on hand for cleanup
📱 Try Remote Play (Once You’re Comfortable)
- Explore patterns, syncing to music, or surprise buzzes
- Add excitement with app or remote control
- Great for long-distance or discreet teasing in public
Beginner Mistakes to Avoid
New to anal play? You’re not alone. A few simple tips can go a long way in making the experience safer, more comfortable, and way more enjoyable. Here are the most common mistakes beginners make (and how to avoid them):
- Don’t skip the lube. Anal play requires more lubrication than vaginal sex. Always use plenty and reapply as needed.
- Choose the right lube. Stick to a high-quality water-based lubricant, like Lovense’s Personal Lubricant Jelly, which is safe for all toy materials and gentle on sensitive skin.
- Don’t go too big too fast. Even if one partner’s more experienced, start with a size that’s comfortable for each of you. Gradual stretching is key.
- Don’t use toys without a flared base. Seriously. If it doesn’t have a base, it doesn’t belong inside. Always use plugs designed specifically for anal play.
- Don’t skip cleaning between uses. Clean your toys thoroughly after each session using warm water and a mild, unscented toy cleaner or soap. If sharing, use condoms or separate plugs.
- Don’t assume one plug fits both partners. Bodies vary and one of you might love a slimmer, lighter toy, while the other prefers something with more weight or vibration. Let comfort guide your choices, not labels.
A little knowledge goes a long way when you’re starting out. Keep these tips in mind, and you’re already halfway to a great experience.
Long-Distance and Public Play: What to Know
Once you’re comfortable using plugs at home, remote-control toys can add a new level of connection—great for long-distance play or discreet fun in public.
Whether you’re syncing across time zones or handing over app control for a night out, a wearable plug invites teasing, anticipation, and spontaneity.
What to keep in mind:
- Quiet operation is key—choose toys with low-noise motors for public use
- Stable connectivity avoids mid-play interruptions; test your setup before heading out
- Battery life matters for extended sessions, especially away from home
Discretion & Safety Tips:
- Use a size that fits securely while sitting or walking
- Test at home first to ensure everything works smoothly
- Keep your phone accessible to stop vibrations quickly
- Start with short public sessions (30–60 minutes) and increase gradually
Aftercare and Progression
Anal play is exciting—but aftercare matters. Whether you’re new to plugs or exploring more, a little post-play TLC helps keep things comfortable and safe.
Post-Play Care: Mild sensitivity is normal after longer or partnered sessions. To support recovery:
- Rest and check in: Take a few minutes to relax and notice any discomfort.
- Clean up gently: Use warm water and mild, unscented soap or toy cleaner.
- Soothe if needed: A warm bath or soft compress can ease tension (skip very hot water).
- Watch for soreness: If anything feels off the next day, pause play until fully healed.
Sizing Up Safely: Thinking about going bigger? Only size up when:
- Insertion is consistently easy and comfortable
- You can wear your current plug for 30+ minutes
- You’re craving more pressure or fullness
When you do:
- Increase size gradually (0.25–0.5 inches max)
- Stick to familiar shapes/materials
- Use more lube and take it slow—adjustment takes time
Some couples stay at one size; others enjoy progressing. Either way, comfort and consent always come first.
Troubleshooting and Managing Concerns
A: If you’re using a proper anal plug with a flared base, it shouldn’t get stuck. That base is there to keep the toy safely outside your body. If you do feel resistance when removing it, take a break, relax, and try again with more lube. Never use anything without a base.
A: Discomfort is your body’s way of saying “slow down.” Pain means stop. If insertion hurts, you may need more lube, a smaller size, or a gentler position. Go slowly and breathe deeply. Don’t force anything—there’s no rush.
A: It’s a common worry, but honestly, a little mess is rare and normal. Use the bathroom first, clean the area gently with warm water, and you’re good to go for light to moderate play. You don’t need to douche unless you’re planning deeper penetration.
A: Yes—as long as you follow the basics: use plenty of lube, go slow, communicate clearly, and never use a toy without a flared base. Choose a plug that fits comfortably, and clean it thoroughly before and after each use.
A: Look for a plug with a diameter of around 1 inch (2.5 cm) and a tapered tip for easy entry. If you’re nervous, start even smaller. There’s no shame in working your way up at your own pace.
A: Absolutely. Wearing a plug during vaginal or oral sex can increase sensation for both partners. Just make sure the fit is secure, you’re fully comfortable, and that it stays in place during movement.
A: Wash your plug thoroughly with warm water and unscented soap or a toy-safe cleaner. If you’re sharing, use condoms over the plug or separate toys for each person. Let it dry completely before storing.
A: Not necessarily. It’s more about anatomy and preference than gender. People with prostates may prefer curved or angled plugs for internal stimulation. Others may enjoy the feeling of fullness or pressure. Choose the size, shape, and features that feel best for you, regardless of labels.
Conclusion
Exploring anal play as a couple isn’t just about adding a toy to the mix—it’s about deepening trust, discovering new sensations, and building intimacy in playful, connected ways. Whether you’re new to anal exploration or already experimenting, his and hers butt plugs offer a way to personalise pleasure while creating shared experiences you’ll both enjoy.
There’s no one “right” way to start. Go at your own pace, talk openly, and prioritise comfort and consent. When you’re ready, the right toy can spark curiosity, build confidence, and bring you even closer—one vibration at a time.
Next Steps for Curious Couples:
- 🧡 Try a beginner-friendly plug to ease into new sensations
- 🗣️ Talk openly with your partner about what excites and comforts you
- 📱 Explore remote-control toys like the Hush 2 when you’re ready to take play further.
