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Sex Furniture 101 - A Detailed Guide and Candid Product Reviews

If you’re interested in sex furniture but have no idea how to go about buying it (AND you don’t want to waste money on some piece of crap), you’re in the right place.

 

Let’s look at what kinds of furniture is out there, materials, prices and other details that will help you make an informed purchase.

 

 

WHAT IS SEX FURNITURE?


 

It’s any piece of furniture that aids in a sexual experience. This can be for added excitement, making certain positions easier, or for those with handicaps or injuries.

 

The Luvbed from sex-ability.com

 

SEX SWINGS AND SLINGS – These are exactly how they sound – swing devices that someone sits on during sex. Some are fixed to door frames, others to the ceiling or an independent stand. Aids in thrusting and making difficult positions more manageable.

 

NEED MORE INFO? Check out this article for a detailed sex swing guide. 

 

SEX GLIDERS– Aka Monkey Rockers are stools you straddle and rock back and forth. The momentum thrusts or withdraws a dildo within the stool. They’re great for independent play (or even having your partner watch or play alongside) and they leave your hands free for other things. Some people have trouble maintaining the movements through orgasm, which can be frustrating.

 

WEDGES - These triangle pieces of foam are meant to help support your body if you have to maintain a position for an extended time. They can be used for non-sexual purposed as well. You’ll have to buy more than one (different sizes) if you want the most versatility and they are sometimes pricey.

 

BONDAGE EQUIPMENT – There are MANY items in this category – crosses, spanking benches, stocks (of various designs) etc.

 

 

CHAIRS – This group has several subgroups.

 

  • Queening Chairs – low seats that allow for one person to sit while another lies on their back and performs oral sex. A smother-box is the same idea but with the ability to be locked or restrained. Some can look like simple stools, while more elaborate one can look like thrones.

 

  • Chaise lounges or sofa chairs – one step further than wedges which support the entire body for various sexual positions. Some can include restraints.

 

  • Thrones – can be included in bondage furniture or queening chairs if they are altered accordingly (as well as high-back chairs made to look royal or menacing and aid in role play)

 

  • Balls – much like the posture/exercise balls you see at offices, but these have a dildo attached to them.

 

 

BEDS - It might sound like a no-brainer, but we’re not talking about the one in your bedroom. These are usually inflatable OR custom made to have the ability to attach restraints.

 

SIDE NOTE: While on the topic of beds, there are special sheets and pillows you can buy for extra sensations during sex or just for easy clean up (should you plan on getting messy).

 

 

HOW MUCH WILL I PAY?


 

Don’t expect anything on this list to be cheap.

 

Even going the Amazon route (which I don’t always recommend) is still going to set you back a few hundred dollars … or more.

 

The most inexpensive options would be the wedges, inflatable things, or sex chairs ($50-100).

 

Then there is the age-old adage of, “You get what you pay for”…

 

It’s true to some degree since the nice stuff usually has better quality material, manufacturing practices, and durability – people have to earn a living with what they sell, just make sure you’re not getting robbed blind.

 

And...

 

don’t be surprised if something turns out to be “make-on-demand” and therefore includes a waiting time of a month or two.

 

Something like this will cost over $2000

 

 

WHAT ABOUT MATERIALS?


 

The list is endless (metal, wood, rubber etc.)

 

The key things you need to remember are:

 

  • Can I clean it easily?
  • Will I be using it with more than one person?
  • If so, can it be serialized properly?
  • How soft/rough is the material (comfort)?

 

NOTE: If any of your furniture has sex toys that go with it (like monkey rockers) make sure you put a condom over the toy to keep it clean.

 

 

ADDITIONS


 

With some furniture, you can add things that allow for various restraints (even something as simple as hooks) – just make sure it doesn’t compromise or weaken the structure.

 

Part chair, part rack

 

STORAGE


 

If you have limited space, look for things that are inflatable, collapsible, small enough you can tuck away, or (if you don’t need to hide it) things that offer extra storage space.

 

EXAMPLE: a sex bed with a cage or drawers underneath it takes up far less room than if they were separate pieces.

 

 

WATCH OUT FOR


 

Seams – make sure they’re not sharp

Return policies – yep they can be a pain in the ass

Warranties – see what they include

Extras – if toys or other things shown with the item but purchased as an add-on

Adjustments – that anything adjustable will stay in place when body weight is added

 

Sharp seams with inflatables...

 

 

PRODUCT REVIEWS


 

 

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own any of these specifically (for obvious financial reasons, I can’t buy all of these to review). My reviews and ratings are simply opinions based on my experiences in the sex toy and kink industry.

 

RATING BREAKDOWN:

Quality = materials and construction

Value = price vs quality 

Usefulness = variety of positions etc.

Subtly = easy to hide or go unnoticed

 

 

FETISH FANTASY LOVER LOUNGE $380


 

 

This LOOKS like it would be a good idea (an entire lounge you can deflate and hide and detach the fucking machine),

 

But... 

 

FF products aren’t exactly known for their quality and long-life. With that in mind, and the fact you can buy a fucking machine for $100, it just doesn’t seem worth it.

 

Quality: 2/5  Value: 2/5  Usefulness: 3/5  Subtly: 4/5  (link)

 

 

THE ADELA CHAIR BY ANDRES AMAYA $?


 

 

This man doesn’t just make furniture – all his erotic pieces are also works of art.

 

Each piece is custom made (and can be altered however you wish). Also, if you want one, you have to contact them directly and ask – there are NO prices shown.

 

Everything is gorgeous, but my favorite is the chair. It’s something you could have sitting in your living room and no one would know (assuming your other décor matched).

 

Quality: 5/5  Value: 4/5  Usefulness: 4/5  Subtly: 4/5  (link)

 

 

LIBERATOR FLIP-RAMP $182


 

 

I love this more than other wedges or supporters because you can flip one side over to make another shape (opening up more possibilities for sexy time).

 

I particularly like how the velvet upholstery can come off, is machine washable, AND the high-density foam is covered with moisture resistant liner.

 

But remember...

 

It’s not the same as WATER-resistant or proof. This just means that the sweat won’t get into the foam – but anything else might.

 

Another thing to keep in mind – you and your partner’s height might factor into things (how comfortable it will be and how well things will line up).

 

Also,

 

If you want something really soft, maybe steer away from this and get something inflatable. And those with soft beds might find it sinks into the mattress.

 

Liberator has a PILE of other models if this one isn’t for you.

 

Quality: 3/5  Value: 4/5  Usefulness: 4/5  Subtly: 3/5  (link)

 

 

BONDAGE FRAME TABLE  $1030


 

Let’s not forget the BDSM enthusiasts out there.

 

I’m all about versatility, which is why I like this table … A LOT.

 

Not just for the fact is flip between a rack and table, but that there are MULITPLE holes and hoops - rope, strap, whatever kind of bondage … it’s all good.

 

There is also a separate menu jus to customize the finish and color of your purchase (but I saw you can contact them to add further adjustments).

 

The only thing that worries me is the width, without testing, I have no idea how hard it would be to tip over.

 

Quality: 5/5  Value: 4/5  Usefulness: 5/5  Subtly: 1/5  (link)

 

 

TANTRA CHAIR  $1300


 

 

It’s definitely a lovely piece and something you could have right in your living room if you wanted.

 

The finish on the leather is apparently moisture resistant and anti-microbial. Reviews are mixed between, “I love it!” and “I don’t see the point” with a few, “It’s awkward.” 

 

It’s probably worth it if you’re SURE you want an upgrade beyond inflatable … or you want a curvy chair to read in.

 

Quality: 5/5  Value: 4/5  Usefulness: 3/5  Subtly: 5/5  (link)

 

 

POSITION MASTER  $30


 

 

It’s the bargain basement option for those who want to get into sex furniture, but don’t want to spend a lot at first (or can’t).

 

There will probably be sharp seams (it’s plastic after all) and I bet it won’t last more than a couple tries – and for $30, I don’t see why users are surprised it doesn’t last years.

 

It’s not a large piece, either. So, just double check the measurements before you buy to see if it will be okay.

 

You might get black fuzz all over you too (from the fake “velvet” finish).

 

Quality: 1/5  Value: 2/5  Usefulness: 3/5  Subtly: 3/5  (link)

 

 

TRIO LOVE CUSHION  $270


 

 

The Trio Cushion is riddled with mixed feelings.

 

The vibrators themselves are apparently decent enough (which are sold separately btw), but controlling the settings are a pain in the ass (mostly because it’s just wands shoved through three holes in the stool – which can be too tall for some people).

 

Personally, I wouldn’t shell out money for it.

 

Quality: 2/5  Value: 3/5  Usefulness: 2/5  Subtly: 1/5  (link)

 

 

INTERNATIONAL ROCKIN CHAIR  $400


 

 

I’m not sure where all the “hype” is coming from (unless is company generated).

 

The vibrator bulb screams, “I’m in the wrong place”. To sit in any comfortable location, the buzz mound will either be at your ass or too far away from your crotch – and hovering over the edge seems like it will make it fall over … not “rock”. 

 

A pretty hard fail for a large dump of money, IMO.

 

Quality: 3/5  Value:2/5  Usefulness: 2/5  Subtly: 1/5  (link)

 

 

THE FUCK BENCH  $500


 

 

It’s sturdy and you know exactly what you’re getting. The marine-grade vinyl will be very durable, and the whole thing is adjustable. I like how the wand attachment is included and not some shitty “but this extra” thing. The only thing I see as a possible negative is the straps – not sure if they are long enough to accommodate larger lovers.

 

Quality: 4/5  Value:4/5  Usefulness: 4/5  Subtly: 1/5  (link)

 

 

SMOTHER BOX $350-520


 

 

It’s got the “at-home-crafted” look – which isn’t a bad thing, mind you.

 

I just hate the black painted wood look (in all things, not just sex furniture).

 

I DO like the head sling and how it can be adjusted. The eye hooks are great for attaching handcuffs etc.

 

I’m just not sold on the price vs quality – I’m handy enough that I could make it myself for FAR less than 300.

 

Quality: 3/5  Value:3/5  Usefulness: 4/5  Subtly: 1/5  (link)

 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

 

Have you tried any of these items? I’d love to hear your experiences!

 

Have a sexy day!

Robyn

 

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