{"id":563,"date":"2020-07-01T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2020-07-01T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.lovenselife.com\/uncategorized\/your-bdsm-journey"},"modified":"2020-07-01T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2020-07-01T00:00:00","slug":"your-bdsm-journey","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-blog\/kink-bdsm\/your-bdsm-journey","title":{"rendered":"Your BDSM Journey \u2013 It\u2019s Okay To Change"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><em><span style=\"font-size: 10px;\"><span style=\"color: #bdc3c7;\">Image by&nbsp;Espressolia&nbsp;from&nbsp;Pixabay&nbsp;<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>First, I want to premise that when I say &#8220;your BDSM journey&#8221;, it doesn&#8217;t need to involve whips and leather. It can be anything from mild spanking and a bit of dirty talk to full-blown scenes with every toy imaginable. So, don&#8217;t feel like you need to &#8220;be&#8221; anything besides what you&#8217;re comfortable with&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I think one of the scariest things that get into people\u2019s heads, when they think about BDSM, is that if they try it \u2026 they HAVE to stick with it. And, this is so NOT true.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Kink, no matter what level you enjoy, is a journey. I\u2019ve been exploring for ten plus years and here is what I\u2019ve learned\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color\" style=\"color:#d70072\"><span style=\"font-size: 26px;\"><b>1. YOUR BDSM JOURNEY &#8211; IT\u2019S ABOUT EXPLORATION<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-wide\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>Your fetish practices (or whatever) will definitely change as time goes on. You\u2019ll find new things you like and integrate them into play. You might become bored of other things and put them on the backburner for a while (and bring them back when you feel the desire). However, you might discover something you adore and spend many days or even years becoming a master. It\u2019s all okay.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color\" style=\"color:#d70072\"><span style=\"font-size: 26px;\"><b>2. DEDICATION BALANCE<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-wide\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>This one is a bit tricky. On one hand, you need to dedicate enough time to learning the safe practices of whatever you want to try. But, on the other hand, if it\u2019s something you don\u2019t like, you don\u2019t have to keep doing it. Your partner might desperately want it, but if it\u2019s a \u201chard limit\u201d for you, that needs to be respected by others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A common example is anal play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You might be curious. You and your partner do the research, and then you give it a try. I might go well. It might be painful AF. Perhaps you try it a different way, go slower, use more lube. But in the end, if you don\u2019t want it, that\u2019s fine,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color\" style=\"color:#d70072\"><span style=\"font-size: 26px;\"><b>3. HEALTHY PRACTICES VS UNHEALTHY PEOPLE<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-wide\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019ve found that these two ideas are incapable of coexistence. Someone with a good soul and respectful attitude will be able to play safely (and I\u2019m not just talking about physical health, but mental\/emotional\/spiritual health too). They can make mistakes, but they take responsibility for them and learn to do better next time. Toxic, violent, and general dirt bags can use the BDSM world as their own twisted playground. They often use the \u201cif you don\u2019t do it this way, you\u2019re not into BDSM\u201d nonsense. Stay away from these people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Example \u2013 At the beginning of one relationship, I asked for a year of monogamy from my partner \u2013 in order to recover from my divorce, spend time growing the foundation, establishing trust levels so we could move forward with a kinky lifestyle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The result?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>One year of him resenting me and punishing me with no sex and little affection. As well as spending all that time watching porn, masturbating, chatting up other women, and spending my money.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Just because someone says they are kinky, doesn\u2019t mean they are healthy-kinky.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color\" style=\"color:#d70072\"><span style=\"font-size: 26px;\"><b>4. IT DOESN\u2019T HAVE TO BREAK THE BANK<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-wide\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>You can have some fun toys without dumping your bank account into your toy chest. Granted, there ARE some devices that should be bought in higher quality (for safety), but I\u2019ve seen some really cool things that are totally DIY \u2013 eg. nipple clamps from chopsticks and elastics.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color\" style=\"color:#d70072\"><span style=\"font-size: 26px;\"><b>5. YOU CAN TAKE A BREAK<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-wide\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>Life is about happiness and balance. Just because you\u2019re kinky doesn\u2019t mean you have to be kinky all the time. Maybe life gets hard, maybe you have less free time, maybe your energy needs to go somewhere else. Whether it\u2019s one month or a few years \u2013 it\u2019s YOUR journey and YOU hold the control.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color\" style=\"color:#d70072\"><span style=\"font-size: 26px;\"><b>6. CLIQUES<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-wide\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>Bad news, the cliques don\u2019t stop at high school. We might put a nice word to it (like friend circle or pack), but if you\u2019re going into a new city\/scene\/club, take some time to learn the players. I <i>thought<\/i> I &nbsp;found a supportive, healthy group of people to play with, but slowly, their behavior betrayed them and I ghosted them all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color\" style=\"color:#d70072\"><span style=\"font-size: 26px;\"><b>7. YOUR BDSM JOURNEY &#8211; GHOSTS<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-wide\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>I believe that when someone is bad for me, they don\u2019t get any of my time or energy. That is your right. But, considering the BDSM scene is \u201csmall\u201d in many places (everyone knows nearly everyone in some way or degree of separation), you will come across them at parties or events.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>My advice?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Just ignore them. Focus on your friends and have fun.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-white-color has-vivid-cyan-blue-background-color has-text-color has-background\">Any other tips for you BDSM journey? Share in the comments!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Image by&nbsp;Espressolia&nbsp;from&nbsp;Pixabay&nbsp; First, I want to premise that when I say &#8220;your BDSM journey&#8221;, it doesn&#8217;t need to involve whips and leather. It can be&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1146,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[14,52,12],"class_list":["post-563","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-kink-bdsm","tag-bdsm","tag-kink","tag-kinky"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Your BDSM Journey \u2013 It\u2019s Okay To Change - Lovense Sex Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Here are some quick tips to help you understand your BDSM journey - and that it&#039;s okay to change what you do or like!\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-blog\/kink-bdsm\/your-bdsm-journey\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Your BDSM Journey \u2013 It\u2019s Okay To Change - Lovense Sex Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Here are some quick tips to help you understand your BDSM journey - and that it&#039;s okay to change what you do or like!\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-blog\/kink-bdsm\/your-bdsm-journey\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lovense Sex Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lovensetoys\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2020-07-01T00:00:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/9cfa875873fd43e3b328008cb4a868fd-e1619533997433.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"800\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"450\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Robyn Robyn\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@Lovense\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Lovense\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Robyn Robyn\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-blog\/kink-bdsm\/your-bdsm-journey#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-blog\/kink-bdsm\/your-bdsm-journey\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Robyn Robyn\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-blog\/#\/schema\/person\/a170fab589801b4dbac466a690f4d791\"},\"headline\":\"Your BDSM Journey \u2013 It\u2019s Okay To Change\",\"datePublished\":\"2020-07-01T00:00:00+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-blog\/kink-bdsm\/your-bdsm-journey\"},\"wordCount\":796,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-blog\/kink-bdsm\/your-bdsm-journey#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/9cfa875873fd43e3b328008cb4a868fd-e1619533997433.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"bdsm\",\"kink\",\"kinky\"],\"articleSection\":[\"KINK &amp; 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