{"id":521,"date":"2020-02-17T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2020-02-17T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.lovenselife.com\/uncategorized\/fetlife-tips-part-2"},"modified":"2020-02-17T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2020-02-17T00:00:00","slug":"fetlife-tips-part-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-blog\/kink-bdsm\/fetlife-tips-part-2","title":{"rendered":"FetLife Tips Part 2 \u2013 Get the Most Out Of This Site"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

We looked at part one<\/a><\/strong> of FetLife Tips! Now, here\u2019s Fetlife Tips Part 2!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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SPEAK UP TO SHAME<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n
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I\u2019m an \u201cavoid the drama\u201d sort of person. However, in some cases, if someone is breaking the rules of the site, don\u2019t hesitate to report them. This isn\u2019t the same as having disagreeing points of view, just if there are things that break the community rules. This brings us to the next point\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n

KNOW THE COMMUNITY LIMITS<\/strong><\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n
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Fetlife is very clear about their no-nos. This includes things like incest, bestiality, abuse, animal cruelty, underage, racism, etc. Just because some porn sites have it, doesn\u2019t mean that every site will embrace it. Respect each site and what they allow and restrict.<\/p>\n\n\n

KNOW ABOUT \u201cOUTING\u201d<\/strong><\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n
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People in the BDSM world can be \u201couted\u201d \u2013 meaning they have their private (kinky) life made public to people who wouldn\u2019t or shouldn\u2019t know. Things like work, family, the general public, etc. Whether you care about being outed or not is up to you. If you are worried, take steps to keep your friend circle trusted and your pictures non-identifiable. That being said, don\u2019t like the idea divert you away from having fun.<\/p>\n\n\n

INCLUDE VANILLA STUFF<\/strong><\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n
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Don\u2019t make your bio ONLY about kinky stuff. Include a few everyday facts \u2013 like hobbies and passions. It will help make you stand out and find people you have even more in common with. Who knows, you might make a friend for something outside of the kink world.<\/p>\n\n\n

IT\u2019S OKAY TO BE VAGUE<\/strong><\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n
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It might sound a bit \u201cback and forth\u201d, but even though I\u2019ve suggested putting as much info as possible in your bio, you DON\u2019T want it to become a novel. It\u2019s okay to leave some stuff out and have a few fun surprises for future conversations<\/p>\n\n\n

DON\u2019T BE \u201cME ME ME\u201d<\/strong><\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n
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If all you want is to have someone service you (top or bottom doesn\u2019t matter), just state so (or pay someone). However, in BDSM interactions there is usually a give and take on BOTH sides. Don\u2019t have your write-up and chats be all about what YOU want. It\u2019s a turn-off for most people.<\/p>\n\n\n

LEARN THE LINGO<\/strong><\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n
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There are tons of abbreviations on this site (e.g. CBT = cock and ball torture). Before you ask, take a moment to look it up. There will 100% be an answer somewhere.<\/p>\n\n\n

PIC DISCLAIMERS<\/strong><\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n
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Aside from only posting images that belong to you (of you), you can add a general disclaimer about usage (or restrictions) of your images. Many bios have them (in several languages).  It\u2019s as simple as copying and pasting into your bio.<\/p>\n\n\n

GRAINS OF SALT<\/strong><\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n
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There\u2019s tons of advice and how-tos on Fetlife. Although it can be a fountain of information, don\u2019t take it as the end-all-be-all. Look on other sides and videos for more information, take classes, and ask experts. A good example is trampling. I suggested the general safety that people shouldn\u2019t step on the soft parts of the belly (especially with heels on). This is just all-around good advice. There are, however, people that enjoy this practice.<\/p>\n\n\n

DON\u2019T SPAM<\/strong><\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n
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Whether in chat or message boards, don\u2019t spam personal ads, professional ads, etc. Also, don’t be needy in your DMs to new people. <\/p>\n\n\n

FETLIFE VS FRIENDS<\/strong><\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n
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You don\u2019t need a huge group of people in your circle. Keep it as small and as big as you want. You can also write in your bio how you want people to add you to their friend list (maybe they need to chat with you first, maybe you accept anyone). Y<\/p>\n\n\n

UPDATE<\/strong><\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n
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Your journey, preferences, and experience will be ever-changing \u2013 update your details accordingly. This can include recent pictures or what you’re looking for in a play partner etc.<\/p>\n\n\n

BLOCKING<\/strong><\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n
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Like any other site, you can block people. You can also unblock them. But there is a few days delay between these steps. You\u2019ll probably find this site will have more blocked people than other social media. That\u2019s ok. Don\u2019t be afraid to exercise your personal power.<\/p>\n\n\n

GET OUT INTO THE WORLD<\/strong><\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n
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Fetlife can be a fun online community, and great for people starting out (and are shy), but that is no substitute for real life. Granted, you might not (or never) be able to take your kinks off a digital platform, but if you can, parties and munches are a great way to see people in action, learn something, and vet people in a safe environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Go to the \u201cEvents\u201d tab and see what\u2019s going on around you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

SIDE NOTE:<\/b><\/span> I\u2019m NOT endorsing this as advice to get out and meet people only privately. That can sometimes be dangerous. Always meet in a public place, with an accompanying friend, or at a munch (and non-kinky gathering of kinky people).<\/p>\n\n\n

DELETE IF YOU DON’T LIKE<\/strong><\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n
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Yes, I\u2019ve plugged this site as something great \u2013 and it can be. HOWEVER, it\u2019s not for everyone. And that\u2019s okay. If you don’t like it, delete your account. No harm no fuss.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Want more useful articles? Check out these…<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n