{"id":520,"date":"2020-02-11T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2020-02-11T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.lovenselife.com\/uncategorized\/fetlife-tips"},"modified":"2020-02-11T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2020-02-11T00:00:00","slug":"fetlife-tips","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-blog\/kink-bdsm\/fetlife-tips","title":{"rendered":"Fetlife Tips for Beginner Kinksters \u2013 Part 1"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Fetlife Tips<\/strong> – If you\u2019re going to dip your toe into the world of kink, FetLife is one of the sites that will immediately pop up. It\u2019s basically THE social media site for anything and everything non-vanilla. The problem is, there\u2019s SO much that it can often be overwhelming for newcomers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Here\u2019s a list of Fetlife tips to get you started and take away some of the intimidation.<\/p>\n\n\n

1. REMEMBER: YOU\u2019RE NORMAL<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n
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You might be nervous about creating your account, but know this \u2026 there are many more like you in so many ways. You\u2019re not a degenerate or a bad person. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This site, despite its flaws, has one thing going for it \u2026 it brings people together. Even if you\u2019re just into light spankings on Sundays,\u00a0 you will probably find an entire group for it. Don\u2019t be scared to join. You can always delete your account if it\u2019s not your cup of tea.<\/p>\n\n\n

2. BROWSE<\/strong> … A LOT<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n
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After you\u2019ve made your account, take some time to look through the interface. Browse images, others\u2019 profiles, various tabs, etc. You can go as far down the rabbit hole as you want (within the browsing limits). Take some time to navigate your settings and other menus associated with your profile etc.\u00a0This is especially good for knowing what you want to do in the next few steps. <\/p>\n\n\n

3. DECIDE ON YOUR EXPOSURE<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n
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Fetlife can be as anonymous as you want. You don\u2019t have to show your face or tell people where you live. You don\u2019t even have to talk to other people. If all you want to do is look at pictures, that\u2019s okay. If you want to go full photographer on your genitals, that\u2019s okay too. Just remember, once it\u2019s out there \u2026 it\u2019s out there for good. So take some time to know how much you want to reveal.<\/p>\n\n\n

4. THINK ABOUT YOUR STATUS<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n
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You don’t have to put anything right off the bat if you\u2019re not sure or don\u2019t want to. However, adding your status, your role, and what you\u2019re looking for can help weed out the people that you might not want to talk to. For example, if you don\u2019t want people inundating you with \u201cbe my slave\u201d messages,<\/p>\n\n\n

5. DECIDE ON LOCATION<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n
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Again, you don\u2019t HAVE to put this. The running joke is that people who don\u2019t want to put their location will simply put \u201cAntarctica\u201d. However, putting even a general location can help you connect better to parties or people in your area that might have something in common with you.<\/p>\n\n\n

6. WRITE YOUR BIO<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n
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This one is a bit annoying. You can put lots of time and effort into writing who you are and what you\u2019re looking for, but you will still have people who will skip it entirely and just message you for their own desires. They themselves don’t follow any sort of Fetlife tips.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, that doesn\u2019t mean you should not put anything. You can also change it. I use this as a filter. If I can tell someone put in a few minutes to read about me and see if there is compatibility, then I know they are worth a few minutes of my time \u2013 otherwise, I just ignore them.<\/p>\n\n\n

7. ADD A PICTURE<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n
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I hate when people don\u2019t add pictures. You don\u2019t have to show your face or all of your body. You also don\u2019t have to load your gallery. But, still, put SOMETHING that involves at least a part of you. If you want your feet worshiped, put your feet. Have someone take a pic that doesn\u2019t reveal your identity. Whatever. For me, no bio pic or just cartoons or porn is a bit of a red flag.<\/p>\n\n\n

8. TAKE THE QUIZ<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n
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You might see this link (or the entire results) on someone\u2019s bio. It\u2019s an in-depth quiz that will show you the percentage of whatever role or kink you might have. Example, 90% domme, 80% brat, 20% pet play, etc. It\u2019s just as useful as your bio.<\/p>\n\n\n

9. DON\u2019T PAY YET<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n
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If you want to scroll really far down, you have to pay. I would recommend waiting until you know you\u2019re happy with the site and your interactions.<\/p>\n\n\n

10. ADD YOUR KINKS<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n
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The kink list is not the same as the kink quiz. If you go to fetlife.com\/fetishes\/bulk_edit<\/strong> <\/span>there is a shortlist of options. Or, fetlife.com\/fetishes\/alphabetized_list<\/strong><\/span> will give you a much longer list. Click on whatever fetish or kink you are interested in, click \u201cAdd to Profile\u201d under the title, then fill out the two drop-down menus. Voila, more stuff for people to learn about you!<\/p>\n\n\n

11. BE OPEN-MINDED<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n
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Being open-minded doesn’t mean you have to DO the thing someone else likes. It just means not judging others\u2019 kinks \u2026 like you don\u2019t want yours judged. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yes, there are the SSC and RACK rules that are non-negotiable (e.g. consensual non-consent vs. rape are two totally different things \u2013 one is agreed to as a kink or fantasy, the other is illegal, and despicable. One belongs on Fetlife, the other belongs in jail).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My meaning is there might be some people who like to play with poop. Let them do them and you do you. No need to jump into message boards and get on a soapbox with things you don\u2019t like. Focus on the things you DO like and find others with the same passions. It’s one of the most useful Fetlife tips you should keep with your throughout your experiences.<\/p>\n\n\n

12. JOIN SOME GROUPS<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n
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As I mentioned before, if there is a kink, there is a group for it. Find a couple you like (check if it\u2019s been active lately) and join.<\/p>\n\n\n

13. READ THE RULES<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n
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Each group has its own rules. Read them carefully and see if you\u2019re comfortable with them. If not, don\u2019t join. Too many people join mini-communities wanting to morph them into something specifically for THEM. Bad mojo.<\/p>\n\n\n

14. MESSAGE CAREFULLY<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n
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You cannot delete conversations. It\u2019s a security feature for the site. So, don\u2019t be an ass. Also, please, please PLEASE, read someone\u2019s bio before you message or add them to your friend list. It\u2019s just polite.<\/p>\n\n\n

15. PREPARE FOR RANDOMNESS<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n
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Sigh, even after giving all the useful Fetlife tips in the world, there will still be people who don\u2019t bother reading anything. For example, I specifically said I was NOT looking for a guy for a certain type of play. Wow, a lot of people said, \u201cI know you said no guys, but will you make an exception for me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There will always be random people appearing in your sphere. Deal with them how you wish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, if you want more articles, you might like these\u2026<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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