{"id":505,"date":"2019-12-27T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2019-12-27T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.lovenselife.com\/uncategorized\/bdsm-top"},"modified":"2019-12-27T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2019-12-27T00:00:00","slug":"bdsm-top","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-blog\/kink-bdsm\/bdsm-top","title":{"rendered":"What is a BDSM Top Vs a Dominant? Learn the Big Difference"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I\u2019ve been on the kick lately of looking at BDSM terminology \u2013 mostly because it can be confusing to some people, especially those new to the scene. So, today we will look at the difference of a \u201cTop\u201d versus a \u201cDominant\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because this one is particularly tricky\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

WHAT\u2019S A DOMINANT?<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s start with the easier of the two.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A dominant is someone who receives<\/i> the power<\/b> in a power exchange<\/b>. The submissive or bottom will hand over power to the Dominant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, for some people, it doesn\u2019t end there\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It can also include taking responsibility for the welfare of the person you\u2019re controlling, having your choices and pleasure in the priority, and\/or expecting obedience and compliance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Being a Dominant means you\u2019ve placed yourself in the BDSM community and are considered to be kinky to some degree.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

WHAT\u2019S A TOP?<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

This one is the hard one to explain. Perhaps the simplest version first\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All Dominants are Tops but not all Tops are Dominants. <\/b><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Being a Top can be about being in control, but it doesn\u2019t have to be related to BDSM or being kinky. Some people equate it to being the captain of the ship or being the one who takes the initiative and guides someone through the encounters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It can also be about who is \u201cgiving\u201d during sex \u2013 one example being a woman who pegs a man (anal sex with a strap on), the woman would be the top and the man is the bottom, but pegging doesn\u2019t necessarily have to be about control or kink.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can also look at it with same-sex couples \u2013 one might don the strap on or engage in \u201cgiving\u201d while the other receives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

SIDE NOTE:<\/b><\/span> If the couple goes back and forth, it\u2019s simply \u201cswitching\u201d, although some people can have a preference<\/i> of being the Top or bottom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Another example is looking at it on a session by session basis. A Dominant\u2019s power can go past<\/i> the play session, but a Top or bottoms can be solely within the time they are playing with someone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I\u2019m tying someone up (I do Shibari), I\u2019m the top and my model is the bottom. I can tie people up with sexual motives or I can do it purely for the art \u2013 it depends on who I\u2019m playing with. I\u2019ve been a Top that was a Dom but I\u2019ve also topped without any<\/i> domination.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

HOW TO FIND OUT WHAT YOU ARE?<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Finding out who and what you are sexually (BDSM or not, and even without<\/i> sex) can be a long journey for some people. The best way is to experiment and communicate with your partner(s) and slowly find what works for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Want more useful articles? You might like these\u2026<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n