{"id":483,"date":"2019-12-12T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2019-12-12T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.lovenselife.com\/uncategorized\/sexual-rejection"},"modified":"2019-12-12T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2019-12-12T00:00:00","slug":"sexual-rejection","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-blog\/sex-passion\/sexual-rejection","title":{"rendered":"The Art of\u00a0 Understanding and Accepting Sexual Rejection with Class"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<div style=\"height:18px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>There\u2019s the stereotype of a guy in a bar asking to buy a drink for a woman (a heavy precursor to sex) and her flat out saying no \u2026 with the resulting hurt feelings after. There\u2019s also those that start off polite but then turn into assholes\/bitches the moment someone says \u201cno thanks\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here\u2019s the thing\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Yes, it hurts. But it\u2019s not always about you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:18px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color\" style=\"color:#d70072\"><span style=\"font-size: 26px;\"><b>REASONS FOR SAYING NO<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-wide\"\/>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li style=\"margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;\">They could be feeling tired or really not in the mood for anything<\/li><li style=\"margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;\">It might be their first time out after a breakup<\/li><li style=\"margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;\">They might be with someone<\/li><li style=\"margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;\">They might be on their period or a bladder infection<\/li><li style=\"margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;\">Various health issues or medication that affects sex drive.<\/li><li style=\"margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;\">They are just nervous and not ready<\/li><li style=\"margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;\">Women are usually extra careful.<\/li><li style=\"margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 10pt;\">Maybe they are there just to chill, that\u2019s all<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Then there is the \u201cthey&#8217;re just not into you\u201d reason &#8211; which is the conclusion that many people jump to then add on layers of (oh, I\u2019m not good enough for him\/her and other negative thoughts).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:18px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color\" style=\"color:#d70072\"><span style=\"font-size: 26px;\"><b>COURAGE VS COMPASSION<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-wide\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>Here\u2019s where you can become the memorable person that someone else might remember or talk about in the future, as that <i>\u201cGuy\/girl who made an advance, but when I said no, they smiled and said no problem. It was refreshing to have no pressure\u201d<\/i> person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Yes, take the leap and ask for that drink and possible, if it feels right, move into the sex question. But, if the \u201cno\u201d comes, remember the possible least of reasons. After that, put yourself in their shoes. Imagine someone comes up and they want sex with you but (for whatever reason) you don\u2019t feel like it. Wouldn\u2019t you want someone to just smile and leave with no drama?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:18px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color\" style=\"color:#d70072\"><span style=\"font-size: 26px;\"><b>SEXUAL REJECTION IN KINK PARTIES<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-wide\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>This is a beast unto its own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>It\u2019s also different for each country (which could be an article all on its own).<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In BDSM\/Kink parties or clubs, there is the obvious overtone of \u201cmore sex happens here\u201d \u2013 which comes with an interesting set of rules and nuances. Any respectable sex club will make the \u201cno means no\u201d rule very clear and have zero tolerance for those who break the rule. They also shouldn\u2019t allow aggressive or passive-aggressive (or just negative behavior in general) after a \u201cno\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Also, I hear many men complain about having to pay extra to get in if you\u2019re single. But take it from someone who has organized these parties\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Anything kinky and they come in flocks with their dicks out and ready \u2013 thinking it will just be a room full of women who will all immediately say yes. Women are more careful, for obvious reasons. <strong>They want a safe environment, and if they feel like a piece of meat on display, they probably will have their guard up.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is why they go with a friend or group. This is why women get in cheaper because it\u2019s difficult to get them in the door in the first place. After that, they are still on their guard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>It\u2019s also an issue in certain places and can even vary from city to city.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Or, if it\u2019s a place that draws an international crowd, then you\u2019ve got a mix of people who have different ideas or even upbringing on the ideas of sex and consent. Some might see a woman on her own as an automatic \u201cyes\u201d and move in. Some might always take a rejection personally because of ego. <strong>Some might come from places that have ZERO concept of sexual respect and consent.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s a navigation of murky waters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s also an environment where people will stay with those they feel safe with and the offer of going with someone they don\u2019t know is an immediate \u201cno\u201d just for safety reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:18px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color\" style=\"color:#d70072\"><span style=\"font-size: 26px;\"><b>HOW TO DEAL WITH KINK PARTIES<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-wide\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>Non-aggressive forwardness (straight up asking) is usually the best course. Lace it with politeness etc. Also, talk to them a little first.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li style=\"margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;\">\u201cHi, I\u2019m so-and-so. Would it be okay with you if I sit here? Can we chat?\u201d<\/li><li style=\"margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;\">\u201cI\u2019m quite attracted to you. Would you be interested in some kind of play?\u201d<\/li><li style=\"margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;\">\u201cIs there anything you absolutely don\u2019t want me to do?\u201d<\/li><li style=\"margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 10pt;\">\u201cWould you like to join me and my friends? No pressure.\u201d<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Give the other person the control. Make sure they know a \u201cno\u201d will not come with any negative consequences. It\u2019s not always about you. Even if it is, it\u2019s not something to take to heart. You\u2019re allowed to pick what you prefer, so are they.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:18px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color\" style=\"color:#d70072\"><span style=\"font-size: 26px;\"><b>ARE THERE BAD APPLES?<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-wide\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>Oh yeah, there are plenty of them everywhere. No matter how nicely or carefully you ask, you\u2019ll get a \u201cfuck off perv\u201d or something. Again, this could be for many reasons. Perhaps they\u2019ve had a bad evening and many people have been hitting on them all night and making them feel uncomfortable. Perhaps you\u2019re the (unintended) straw the broke the camel\u2019s back. Don\u2019t add more negativity to their evening \u2013 just like you wouldn\u2019t want more in yours.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Also, they might just be a bitch\/asshole. In that case, stay classy. Take the upper road and say \u201cno problem\u201d and leave without a fuss \u2013 all the while, inside, thanking that you\u2019ve dodged a bullet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:18px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18px;\"><span style=\"color: #ff0099;\"><strong>Want more interesting or <span style=\"color:#d70072\" class=\"has-inline-color\">useful <\/span>articles? You might enjoy these&#8230;<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 18px;\"><a title=\"March houses the National Awkward Moments Day! Here's a collection to make you giggle, cringe, or relate.\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-tips\/awkward-moments\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong>National Awkward Moments Day<\/strong> &#8211; The Sex Collection<\/a><\/span><\/li><li style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 18px;\"><a title=\"Flowers and cake are old and unimaginative. These birthday sex ideas will help you craft an entire week of erotic pampering they'll never forget!\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-tips\/birthday-sex\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">7 Days of <strong>Birthday Sex <\/strong>&#8211; 23 Ideas For An Unforgettable Week<\/a><\/span><\/li><li style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-size: 18px;\"><a title=\"Is there pain during sex? Check out this article for potential reasons why.\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-tips\/pain-during-sex\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">20 Reasons There&#8217;s <strong>Pain During Sex<\/strong> &#8211; For Woman and Men<\/a><\/span><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:18px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-white-color has-vivid-cyan-blue-background-color has-text-color has-background\">Any other advice you want to add? Share in the comments!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There\u2019s the stereotype of a guy in a bar asking to buy a drink for a woman (a heavy precursor to sex) and her flat&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1120,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[432,453,7],"tags":[14,21,6],"class_list":["post-483","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-intimate-relationship","category-sex-life","category-sex-passion","tag-bdsm","tag-guide","tag-sex"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The Art of\u00a0 Understanding and Accepting Sexual Rejection with Class - Lovense Sex Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-blog\/sex-passion\/sexual-rejection\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Art of\u00a0 Understanding and Accepting Sexual Rejection with Class - Lovense Sex Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"There\u2019s the stereotype of a guy in a bar asking to buy a drink for a woman (a heavy precursor to sex) and her flat&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-blog\/sex-passion\/sexual-rejection\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lovense Sex Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lovensetoys\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-12-12T00:00:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/601aab18-c1ea-11e6-913d-826c0833a15d.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"800\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"450\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Robyn Robyn\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@Lovense\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Lovense\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Robyn Robyn\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-blog\/sex-passion\/sexual-rejection#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-blog\/sex-passion\/sexual-rejection\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Robyn Robyn\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-blog\/#\/schema\/person\/a170fab589801b4dbac466a690f4d791\"},\"headline\":\"The Art of\u00a0 Understanding and Accepting Sexual Rejection with Class\",\"datePublished\":\"2019-12-12T00:00:00+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-blog\/sex-passion\/sexual-rejection\"},\"wordCount\":963,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-blog\/sex-passion\/sexual-rejection#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/601aab18-c1ea-11e6-913d-826c0833a15d.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"bdsm\",\"guide\",\"sex\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Building Relationships\",\"Relationships &amp; 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