Feeling lonely after a breakup is normal, and everyone has different ways they deal with it \u2013 some healthy, some unhealthy. Here are fifteen HEALTHY things you can try to get yourself through this inevitable stage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ll also add that I\u2019ve used many of these \u2013 particularly during a recent breakup. So I can speak from personal experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
1. UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU\u2019RE FEELING<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n The first most important thing is to understand the difference between being alone, being lonely, and being isolated. All of them can have huge impacts on our mental and physical health, but some are worse than others\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n BEING ALONE<\/strong><\/span> \u2013 This isn\u2019t necessarily a bad thing. In fact, having time to yourself to reflect, heal, and develop new habits is good for the soul. It\u2019s if you\u2019re alone for too<\/em> long that it becomes isolation (which is very bad).<\/p>\n\n\n\n BEING LONELY<\/strong><\/span> \u2013 This is also normal, everyone will feel it at some stage. Just think of a time when you were surrounded by people and still felt like a shadow or a ghost \u2013 it can happen to anyone, single or otherwise. It\u2019s this stage you need to overcome. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n 2. CHANGE YOUR MINDSET<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019ll state this again. It\u2019s OKAY to be alone after you break up with someone \u2013 yes, it\u2019s painful, yes you\u2019ll cry, yes you\u2019ll be angry. But you\u2019ll also be detached from the negativity your partner was placing on you or the toxicity they were infecting you with. You also have absolute freedom to do what YOU need to do to get back to your strong, independent self.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 3. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n If you suffer from anxiety, this can be hard. However, the simple act of getting out of your house can do wonders. You can visit the shops your ex would always complain about going to. You can sip a coffee and people watch. You can just go for a walk and get some exercise. But staying in your home for weeks on end (even if there are other people in the house) can lead to a form of isolation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 4. EXPAND YOUR SOCIAL CIRCLE<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n This is a big one. For me, most of my friends came through my ex. Therefore, I had to find friends that were MINE. I also started to connect more with people who wanted to hang out but I always avoided it because of the issues of my relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Loneliness comes from feeling disconnected from others or feeling like no one can relate to you. Go out, find new friend, or nurture current friends that aren\u2019t going to be \u201cmixture\u201d problems with your ex.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 5. DO THE THINGS YOU LIKE TO DO<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n This comes down to simple \u201cpositive action\u201d and generating a feeling of happiness. This can be with people or while your alone. But, at least once a day, do something that makes you happy…<\/p>\n\n\n\n 6. DO THE THINGS YOU COULDN’T DO<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n This is one step further \u2013 maybe there were things you couldn\u2019t do because your ex just didn\u2019t like them or wasn\u2019t interesting in spending quality time that way (or at all). Take up something NEW that you\u2019ve wanted try \u2013 museum\/art galleries, dance lessons, language lessons, saving for a vacation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Your time will be spent doing things that make you happy, and hopefully surround yourself with people, and maybe make new friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 7. HAVE THE TV OR MUSIC ON<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n I lived with someone for 15+ years and having the house so quiet was jarring. Simply putting on a playlist or a television show (even if I wasn’t watching) helped me feel not so alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 8. CAREFUL OF REBOUNDS<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n There\u2019s a debate on whether rebounds are healthy or useful. We won\u2019t get into that particular debate, but if you know yourself well enough that a rebound would be bad, avoid them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You can always connect in other ways. And, sorry for the semi-graphic detail, you can always satisfy any sexual needs with a sex toy or simple masturbation (especially if you\u2019re not ready to be with someone just yet).<\/p>\n\n\n\n 9. TALK TO YOURSELF<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n I do this one a lot \u2013 I look in the mirror and talk to myself and I make sure it\u2019s POSITIVE and SUPPORTIVE. You can also video yourself a message to playback when you\u2019re having a hard time. I talk about all the positive stuff I did today, even the little things are BIG accomplishments (like going to the grocery store). Don\u2019t put yourself down for ANY act that goes towards healing and independence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n E.g. Even me going by myself to a new writer\u2019s group was a huge accomplishment and shouldn\u2019t be looked at as something insignificant. Positive reinforcement is the key\/point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 10. SELF DISCOVERY AND HEALING<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n Remember, this is a time you\u2019ll learn new things, wonderful things about yourself. Even if it\u2019s difficult, it\u2019s worth it. Practice calming breathing, medication, distraction games. Have long, hard thoughts about what you really want, who you really want to be, and what you really want in a future partner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 11. LEARN FROM THE EXPERIENCE<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n Take what I mentioned from #10 and add \u201cdon\u2019t beat yourself up\u201d – don\u2019t punish yourself for mistakes or that you let someone hurt you. Indulging in this kind of negative mindset will push you to the lonely and isolated side of the spectrum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Embrace this moment as an opportunity, not a setback.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 12. LEAN ON YOUR SUPPORT GROUP<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n If you have friends and family that are good listeners and are reliable when a crisis pops up, lean on them for support \u2013 vent to them, cry to them, get hugs from them, etc. This can be physical people or through digital means.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 13. FIND PROFESSIONAL HELP<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n In my opinion, everyone goes for an annual physical check-up, but we don\u2019t treat them mind with the same respect. I highly recommend finding a therapist or psychologist that specializes in breakups. They might have tools or insights that you would have never thought of on your own. Or, maybe they\u2019ll just be the non-judgmental ear you need during this time. It also helps you feel less along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When it\u2019s all said and done, it\u2019s EASY to give advice. However, when you\u2019re mired in the agony of a breakup, sometimes all the advice in the world doesn’t feel like it will help. First, allow yourself to mourn (you CAN have this stage) but after that, it\u2019s up to you to fight through.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You need to be a warrior \u2013 strong, independent, and ready to take on the world one small step at a time \u2026 even if it\u2019s just sipping tea on your patio.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Want more articles? Maybe these will help…<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n Anything you want to add? Share in the comments!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Feeling lonely after a breakup is normal, and everyone has different ways they deal with it \u2013 some healthy, some unhealthy. Here are fifteen HEALTHY…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1353,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[453,7],"tags":[37],"class_list":["post-449","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sex-life","category-sex-passion","tag-health"],"yoast_head":"\n
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