{"id":427,"date":"2019-06-05T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2019-06-05T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.lovenselife.com\/uncategorized\/how-to-prepare-a-bdsm-scene"},"modified":"2019-06-05T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2019-06-05T00:00:00","slug":"how-to-prepare-a-bdsm-scene","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-blog\/kink-bdsm\/how-to-prepare-a-bdsm-scene","title":{"rendered":"10 Tips On How to Prepare a BDSM Scene So Everyone Has Fun"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<div style=\"height:21px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>The key to a successful, safe, and comfortable is preparation. Here are ten things that will help you navigate your pre-scene hours so you can play with less stress.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:21px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color\" style=\"color:#d70072\"><span style=\"font-size: 26px;\"><strong>1. COMMUNICATE<\/strong> <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-wide\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>This can take place hours or days beforehand. Whether you use a Dom\/sub checklist is up to you, your previous experience, the extent of the play, and how well you know your partner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Either way, y<strong>ou need to be aware of each other\u2019s limits (soft and hard), desires for how the scene will unfold, and other key information<\/strong> (like aftercare preferences, etc.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:21px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color\" style=\"color:#d70072\"><span style=\"font-size: 26px;\"><strong>2. CHOOSE SAFE WORDS<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-wide\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>Part of your communication also should involve a <strong>verbal AND non-verbal safe word<\/strong>. These should also be reviewed just before play. And, yes, \u201cstop\u201d is a perfectly acceptable option (unless your scene involves a form of consensual non-consent).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Non-verbal safe words can include clapping, snapping, dropping things, tapping out, waving, or anything that would be \u201cout of place\u201d body language. One of mine is if the person is wearing a gag, and they can\u2019t use their hands or body a patterned \u201c<em>Mmmm-Mmmm-Mmmm<\/em>\u201d sound is more than enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:21px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color\" style=\"color:#d70072\"><span style=\"font-size: 26px;\"><strong>3. VISUALIZE<\/strong> <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-wide\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>When you know all the details, I find it very helpful to find a quiet space, close my eyes, and imagine the scene unfold in my head. I think of <strong>what could happen, what could go wrong, how I would deal with it etc.<\/strong> This can include what I could say, orders I could give, and\/or actions I would want to use.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you have a short memory, you can also jot notes down and review them just before the person arrives. Also, it\u2019s up to you if you follow your \u201cscript\u201d step by step or just let it be a general outline and you let things unfold organically.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Also\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Always allow some flexibility within your scenes.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff0099;\"><strong>EXAMPLE &#8211;<\/strong><\/span> Maybe your partner was very eager when you were first communicating, but they had a very bad morning just before they arrived and are having trouble getting into a sub-mindset, or perhaps their energy is drained. It\u2019s perfectly okay to adjust your plans \u2013 another reason I imagine as many scene variants as possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:21px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color\" style=\"color:#d70072\"><span style=\"font-size: 26px;\"><strong>4. CHARGE STUFF<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-wide\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>Nothing is more frustrating than having your sex toys run out in the middle of play (or worst, just before an orgasm \u2013 although edging and teasing is totally fun too).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Charge all your sex toys well ahead of time and be aware of their battery life. Also, make sure you give your buzzy friends their 6-month TLC.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff0099;\"><strong>PROTIP<\/strong><\/span> \u2013 If you have more than one toy, buy a charger with more than one USB port so you can juice several toys at once.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:21px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px;\"><span style=\"color: #ff0099;\"><strong>Want a POWERFUL sex toy that will make them squirm?&nbsp;<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px;\"><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/r\/r7a19u\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Check out these toys here<\/a><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:21px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color\" style=\"color:#d70072\"><span style=\"font-size: 26px;\"><strong>5. CLEAN ALL TOOLS<\/strong> <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-wide\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>Always clean your toys <strong>before AND after each use<\/strong>. No exceptions. I don\u2019t care how tired you are. This can be washing your sex toys or whipping down impact tools with rubbing alcohol etc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:21px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px;\"><span style=\"color: #ff0099;\"><strong>Learn more here&#8230;<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px;\"><strong><a title=\"Learn the ins and outs of how to care for your sex toys - and get as many years out of them as possible.\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-toy-blog\/how-to-care-for-your-sex-toys\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">How to Care for Your Sex Toys &#8211; World Worship of Tools Day<\/a><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:21px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color\" style=\"color:#d70072\"><span style=\"font-size: 26px;\"><strong>6. CLEAN THE SPACE<\/strong> <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-wide\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>Dirty play spaces are not sexy. They can also be tripping hazards \u2013 even burning hazards if you\u2019re playing with candles or fire. Treat your sacred sex space like a shrine and keep it pristine (whether a bedroom or actual dungeon doesn\u2019t matter).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:21px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color\" style=\"color:#d70072\"><span style=\"font-size: 26px;\"><strong>7. LAYOUT ITEMS<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-wide\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>You don\u2019t want to have to rush back and forth between your cupboards (or other rooms) to get play items. Try to foresee what items you\u2019ll need and lay them out so they are close at hand. This includes things for aftercare, water, emergency kit, and safety scissors (or other things to safely cut your partner out of bondage).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Personally, I lay out a bunching of toys and items, even if the sub hasn\u2019t asked for them. I like having options just in case the mood changes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:21px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px;\"><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0099;\">Learn more about aftercare here&#8230;<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px;\"><strong><a title=\"The basics of BDSM aftercare including a long list of ways to deal with sub drop, how to avoid or lessen it, and other ways to bring them back down to earth.\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/bdsm-blog\/aftercare\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">BDSM Aftercare 101 &#8211; Ways to Care for Your Sub After Play<\/a><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:21px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color\" style=\"color:#d70072\"><span style=\"font-size: 26px;\"><strong>8. CLEAN YOURSELF<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-wide\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>Both subs\/bottoms and Doms\/Tops need to clean before they arrive or start the session. Brush your teeth, shave (if necessary), put on appropriate clothing etc. Also, remove any jewelry or accessories and keep them in a safe place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:21px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px;\"><span style=\"color: #ff0099;\"><strong>If there&#8217;s anal play, learn about clean here&#8230;<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><span style=\"font-size: 16px;\"><strong><a title=\"A detailed, colorful guide (with cartoons) on how to clean for anal sex - with a fast vs thorough option and other useful tips. Have anal sex without the worry of a mess.\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-tips\/how-to-clean-for-anal-sex\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Guide on How to Clean for Anal Sex &#8211; With Cute Infographics<\/a><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:21px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color\" style=\"color:#d70072\"><span style=\"font-size: 26px;\"><strong>9. RELAX<\/strong> <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-wide\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>Have a hot beverage, lie down, read a book, meditate, listen to music, watch porn. Do whatever you need to that helps get you in the right mindset. Nervousness or stress will just sap precious energy that could have been used during play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff0099;\"><strong>IMPORTANT <\/strong><\/span>&#8211; Do not consume any alcohol (Dom or sub) before a scene.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:21px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-color\" style=\"color:#d70072\"><span style=\"font-size: 26px;\"><strong>10. HAVE A \u201cSAFETY OUT\u201d<\/strong> <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator is-style-wide\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>This is more if you are unfamiliar with the person you\u2019re playing with (or it\u2019s your first time). Notify someone you trust to be nearby (in another room, down the hall, in the hotel lobby) while you play. This also shouldn\u2019t be a secret from the other participant. Tell them you have someone on standby and they are welcome to do the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff0099;\"><strong>NOTE<\/strong> <\/span>\u2013 Standby people aren\u2019t just to ensure safety, they can be good additions to aftercare.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:21px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-white-color has-vivid-cyan-blue-background-color has-text-color has-background\">How do you prepare for a BDSM scene? Share in the comments so we can all benefit!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The key to a successful, safe, and comfortable is preparation. Here are ten things that will help you navigate your pre-scene hours so you can&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3289,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[14,61,21,52],"class_list":["post-427","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-kink-bdsm","tag-bdsm","tag-fetish","tag-guide","tag-kink"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>10 Tips On How to Prepare a BDSM Scene So Everyone Has Fun - Lovense Sex Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-blog\/kink-bdsm\/how-to-prepare-a-bdsm-scene\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"10 Tips On How to Prepare a BDSM Scene So Everyone Has Fun - Lovense Sex Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The key to a successful, safe, and comfortable is preparation. 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