{"id":203,"date":"2017-04-24T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2017-04-24T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.lovenselife.com\/uncategorized\/expensive-dildos"},"modified":"2026-02-26T08:55:36","modified_gmt":"2026-02-26T08:55:36","slug":"expensive-dildos","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-blog\/how-to-have-sex\/sex-positivity\/expensive-dildos","title":{"rendered":"6 Ridiculously Expensive Dildos That Will Make You Cry"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

We can’t afford them, but the masochistic part of us like reading about these gold-plated, diamond-encrusted beauties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, if you\u2019ve browsed sex toy sites and cringed at the hundred-dollar price tags, you might want to take precautions before reading any further…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because most of these will induce a heart attack.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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#6. ETERNITY BY JIMMY JANE<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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The Eternity<\/strong> follows suit with other posh dildos by using 24k gold or platinum plating and 28 encrusted, VS1 diamonds.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n

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The most interesting part of the Eternity is the \u201creplaceable motor\u201d. <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vibrations are hard on even the highest quality vibrator<\/strong> (which is something to keep in mind when buying any sex toy), and there is always a chance things will become noisy or just burn out as time goes by. This is why many expensive toys come with a warranty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But JimmyJane came up with the clever idea of just giving customers the option to switch out the motor itself. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kudos on that point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The shiny opulence, however, is somewhat tarnished by the AA battery power source<\/strong>, which doesn’t (in general) lend as much power to a motor as a rechargeable. Granted, it\u2019s waterproof and can be put in the dishwasher,<\/strong> but I\u2019m seriously questioning how strong the motor is \u2013 because if I was to shell out that much dough, it better set off fireworks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

HEART ATTACK RATING: <\/strong><\/span>$2750 – $ 3250 – Stabbing chest pains<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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#5. INEZ BT LELO<\/strong> <\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Lelo is already well known for their high-end toys, but they go one step further (in an entire line of four <\/strong>toys, no less) by using what the luxury competition employs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s available in 24 karat gold plating or stainless steel options<\/strong> ($7,900 for the steel). The debate surrounding the Inez is the same with any exorbitant sex toy. Is it worth it?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A spokesperson for LA Pleasure Chest said, \u201cCertain erogenous zones like the G-spot and prostate respond particularly well to firm massage, so metal toys \u2014 including 24k gold \u2014 are well-designed for this.\u201d  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

On the other hand, one reviewer said, \u201cThis is a vibrator. It sports the same internal structure as a $12 plastic vibrator does<\/strong>. For the price being asked, this is an insane purchase to make. The price says ‘I am made of solid gold’. However, this is a gold PLATED item. Meaning the total amount of gold present is about half a gram. Total price this is about worth is $100.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether it\u2019s worth the investment is a matter of perspective and personal preference. Gwyneth Paltrow certainly loved it enough to endorse it on her website<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

HEART ATTACK RATING: <\/strong><\/span>$15,000 – Call an ambulance<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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#4. NELL PLEASURE SEED<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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You\u2019ll notice a pattern: gold, platinum, and precious gems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This one is named after Charles II of England\u2019s mistress (Nell Gwyn)<\/strong>, is plated with 18k gold, comes in a wood box with gold key, and was created to celebrate Coco de Mer’s 14th<\/sup> birthday – why not the 10th<\/sup> or 15th<\/sup>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m also not sure what gives it a $2000<\/em> lead over the Inez, other than the fact it\u2019s rechargeable – it also doesn\u2019t use as much gold. So \u2026 WTF?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At least they have a silicone version that runs around $200.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

HEART ATTACK RATING: <\/strong><\/span>$18,000 – Start compressions<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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3. VICTOR PHANTASM<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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A Parisian jeweler made this one. I\u2019m guessing he is equal parts kink and romantic<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aside from the 18 karat white gold, you\u2019ll get 27 D\/VVS diamonds in the form of an engagement ring that sits in the middle of the toy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

HEART ATTACK RATING: <\/strong><\/span>$60,000 – Everything’s going numb<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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#2. THE ROYAL PEARL<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Made by an Australian silversmith, Colin Burn, it\u2019s “a lavish vibrator cast in solid platinum, embellished with over 1,000 sparkling white diamonds, royal blue sapphires, lustrous South Sea pearls and the finest pink diamonds<\/strong> on the planet.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Burn is known for making extravagant toys for the super-rich with precious materials, monograms, custom details, and even \u2026 human hair. <\/em>One vibrator has a pearl earring and necklace set crafted to match the toy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The only thing I could MAYBE afford from him is the $300 silver nipple clamps. But I\u2019ll use the money to help pay my rent, thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

HEART ATTACK RATING: <\/strong><\/span>$1 million – What’s that white light?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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#1. THE KYYNMWAHPPT DILDO<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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No diamonds or gold \u2013 just wood and paint.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In January 2015, an artist called \u201cMax\u201d tossed this 19\u201d Native American iconography painted dildo on eBay.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What makes it so expensive?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Somewhere in the explanation that is riddled with terrible grammar, we find out that a \u201cReader\u201d (whatever that is) came to Max and told him he should \u201cdraw out spirits\u201d and honor them by sculpting them<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This particular piece is the essence of \u201cKyynmwahppt<\/em>\u201d (which has zero<\/strong> references or information other than the eBay link) and is \u201cthe ever-watchful good spirit to help you see all positive things in life.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMy mission is to help the needy, like build wells, schools and books and much more. I was asked by my elders to travel the world and help the needy.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood intentions\u201d aside, someone was either high or crazy. Or both. And I\u2019m pretty sure they came up with the name by grabbing a handful of Scrabble pieces and chucking them on the floor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

HEART ATTACK RATING: <\/strong><\/span>$ 2.5 million – Flatline<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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And these are just the dildos<\/em>…<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n