{"id":187,"date":"2017-02-17T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2017-02-17T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.lovenselife.com\/uncategorized\/ancient-dildos"},"modified":"2025-10-28T07:44:15","modified_gmt":"2025-10-28T07:44:15","slug":"ancient-dildos","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-blog\/how-to-have-sex\/sex-tips-how-to-have-sex\/ancient-dildos","title":{"rendered":"Ancient Dildos and Sex Toys – Learn How Our Ancestors Got Freaky"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Having sex is not a new thing. Wanting sex is not a new thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wanting sex, but not being about to get any, is certainly NOT a new thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It shouldn\u2019t be a surprise that our ancestors found ways to scratch their horny itches with custom tools.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aside from the interest in what dic-tated an ancient dildo, it was also fascinating to find out just how much experts can\u2019t agree on what they were really used for<\/strong> – or can\u2019t come to terms with the fact their great100<\/sup> grandparents needed to get off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The arguments seem to waver and bounce between ceremonial objects, crop protectors, trinkets to ward off<\/span><\/strong> evil, functional tools<\/strong><\/span> (like a knife that just \u201chappens\u201d to have a phallic-shaped head), or rock-solid sex rod.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s how they got freaky thousands of years ago \u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

54 B.C. WITH BEES<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n
\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

Rumors run amok that Cleopatra should be credited with creating the first vibrator by filling a papyrus box or gourd <\/span><\/strong>(stories vary from person to person like a wild urban legend), then filling it with bees.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Angry, angry bees. There is no way to know if this is true or not, but it does make for some vivid <\/strong><\/em>imagery.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It wasn\u2019t until 1869 did a more user-friendly version appear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Used to cure \u201chysteria\u201d (a.k.a. women being horny but being surrounded by a male population that was convinced chicks couldn\u2019t experience sexual desire, or would \u201cgo mad\u201d if they didn\u2019t have semen)<\/strong>, the steam-powered, train-like engine was positioned in doctors\u2019 offices until the practice declined during the early twentieth century.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mostly because normal people started to figure out that \u201chysteria\u201d was just a blanket diagnosis for doctors who didn\u2019t have a clue what was going on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What makes it even more ridiculous? During the early 1900\u2019s, personal massagers were all the rage<\/strong><\/span>. Even Sears <\/em>sold them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However when they appeared in porn, and everyone figured out what they were REALLY used for, boxes quickly disappeared from shelves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Want more modern sex toys that will make your jaw drop? Check out:<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

10 Crazy Sex Sex You Can Never Unsee<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

CHINESE MUMMIES & RED RODS<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n
\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

In the Xinjiang Uyghur region of China, 4000-year old female mummies were found grabbing some ritual cock – phallic carvings measuring 4cm long and (mostly) painted red to show their status. <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dating back to around 1980 B.C, more than 330 tombs were discovered by Swedish explorer, Folke Bergman in the 1930\u2019s (although a local hunter had found the site 20 years earlier and helped Bergman find it again after being covered by years of sand).<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only a few of the tombs were looted, leaving the rest in fairly good condition. Archaeologists found that all the women buried in the boat-shaped coffins were holding wooden phalluses.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yay Phallicism!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

MEANWHILE IN THE HAN DYNASTY <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n
\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

We have (what archaeologists think) are wearables <\/strong>that popped up near Shanghai (206 BC to 220 AD).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aristocrats and the imperial family certainly knew how to party.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although, I\u2019m wondering what the bronze materials did to those high-ranking genitals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

A <\/strong><\/span>28,000-YEAR-OLD FIRE STARTER<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n
\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

A 20cm long stone \u201cobject\u201d was found in a cave in Ulm, Germany. So far, it\u2019s the oldest representation of the penis that they\u2019ve been able to dig up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After they reassembled the 14-piece Siltstone puzzle, they also found it was probably used as a flint \u2026 to light a fire \u2026 then light THAT fire <\/em><\/strong>– <\/em>at least according to Professor Nicholas Conard from T\u00fcbingen University<\/em>, who is adamant the markings make it obvious what it was used for.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While carved stone (even wood) might sound a bit weird, keep in mind we have stone and wooden dildos today<\/strong><\/span> \u2026 although they cost a fortune.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s also leaps and bounds better than the unripe bananas, camel poop coated in resin, antlers, leather, and HUMAN BONE that were the alternatives back in the day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

SCORE ONE FOR SWEDEN<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n
\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

Although Germany<\/strong> holds the record for the oldest dildo found<\/strong> (so far), in a Mesolithic site in Motala, Sweden, they\u2019ve found a runner-up that was 4000-6000 years old<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why is this one unique and not just another stone love stick found in the dirt? It\u2019s made of antler bone from the Stone Age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to science and time, or whatever, it\u2019s really hard to find really old organic material in dig sites. However, the area\u2019s geographically special, which allows for better preservation of bone artifacts<\/strong>,<\/span> and no one has found stuff like this in Northern European or Scandinavian sites before.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are also some who say it\u2019s just a knife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“If it’s a tool and it’s also shaped like a penis, it could be an item where you want to discuss gender questions,”<\/em> said, Gruber, archaeologist for the National Heritage Board.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Who knows, maybe our ancestors were simply efficient. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

As fascinating as these discoveries are, if I were stuck in the stone age of sex toys, I would just use my hands.  Splinters, rough stone, stinging bees, and questionable metal make my nether-regions swell up just thinking about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, before you go, you might want to check out this article:<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n