{"id":173,"date":"2016-12-22T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2016-12-22T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.lovenselife.com\/uncategorized\/BDSM-Restraints"},"modified":"2016-12-22T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2016-12-22T00:00:00","slug":"bdsm-restraints","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lovense.com\/sex-blog\/kink-bdsm\/bdsm-restraints","title":{"rendered":"BDSM Restraints 101 – Hogtied and Happy for Beginners"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I would have to say that restraints are in my top three BDSM kinks. That doesn\u2019t mean, however, I love all<\/em> restraints.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anything that bends my knee in a stressful position is a no-go. Anything that will leave lasting marks (like metal) is something we shy away from (I have a bleeding condition that makes me break out in a bruise even if I just think about bumping into something).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thankfully the menu is large and varied.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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WHAT ARE YOUR RESTRAINT OPTIONS?<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n
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I bet the first thing you think of is handcuffs or rope.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You are correct, BUT…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

BDSM restraints are anything<\/em> that restricts or hinders (natural) movement etc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

FOR EXAMPLE:<\/span> <\/span><\/strong>Armbinders, hooks, gags, bondage furniture, mittens or monogloves, belts, hoods, tape, yokes, binders, chastity belts, cock rings, collars, corsets, diaper restraints, harnesses, humblers, spreader bars, medical or dental equipment, slings, cages, St. Andrew\u2019s Cross, plastic wrap, rope, shackles, handcuffs, sleep sacks, stocks, straight jackets, ties, scarves \u2026 the list goes on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Materials can also include metal, canvas, leather, plastic, Velcro, hemp, silk, rubber, and padding<\/strong> etc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Each of these has their own pros and cons. For example, metal is easy to clean, plastic wrap is cheap, ties are easy to find, and Velcro is an easy way to escape things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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REASONS PEOPLE LOVE BONDAGE<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n
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REDIRECTING POWER<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some people like giving or gaining power over another person (for many different reasons). For example, you might have very little \u201cpower\u201d in your everyday life. But for a couple hours, you are in control, feeling god\/goddess-like while holding another person at your mercy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or, conversely, you might feel the burden of constant decision-making, growth\/success of a company, or all-around responsibility.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s nice to let it go and let someone else make the choices for you. Granted, this isn\u2019t only<\/strong> for bondage, but some people find this release through bondage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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BEING FREE FROM GUILT<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Society attaches a lot of guilt to sexuality and many sexual acts. People can feel \u201chelpless\u201d and not responsible for whatever happens to them while they are tied up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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SECURITY<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Often bondage receivers comment on how being securely bound feels like a big hug or returning to the womb<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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EROTIC EFFECTS <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This one\u2019s pretty obvious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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MEDITATION OR RELAXATION<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Especially with bondage that leaves you completely immobile, when you\u2019re lying there with nothing but your thoughts, it\u2019s easy for some to slips into a meditative state. There no choice but to focus inwardly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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AESTHETIC PURPOSES<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes, it just looks pretty – especially if you get into the intricate Japanese knot tying. Gorgeous!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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ROLEPLAYING OR ESCAPE<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Playing make-believe isn\u2019t just for kids. Imagining yourself in a different situation or scenario can be like an energizing, mini vacation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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TACTILE SENSATIONS<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The feeling of certain materials against the skin can have various effects (think of how great it feels to wear silk pajamas)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026 and EXCITEMENT<\/span>!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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WHICH ONES DO YOU CHOOSE?<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n
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That, I would say, depends greatly on what kind of play you are looking for and your current level of experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019ve never played with restraints before, don\u2019t use rope, ties, pantyhose, or scarves. I know many sites will suggest these things because they are cheap and easy to get your hands on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

BUT…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They are the WORST for beginners<\/strong>, because (if you want to be safe) they require A LOT of knowledge about proper knot tying and to be thoroughly educated on anatomy relating to pressure points and joints. Padded cuffs with Velcro and metal clasps would be better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Are you looking for something atheistically pleasing? Corsets and collars might be nice. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

How about some role play? Medical\/dental equipment or <\/strong>straight-jackets<\/strong> work well.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s also not a good idea to dump an entire paycheck on BDSM furniture when you\u2019re not sure if you\u2019ll use it or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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RESTRICTIONS, CHALLENGES, GAMES<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n
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Tying someone up doesn\u2019t only have to be about \u201crestrained\u201d intercourse. There are mountains upon mountains of things you can play around with. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

1<\/strong><\/span>.<\/span> Blindfolds are the easiest way to get into light bondage.<\/strong> Since your eyes are covered, your movement is restricted. PLUS we all know how other sensations increase when one is taken away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2<\/span><\/strong>.<\/span> Arm or<\/strong> hand restraints<\/strong> can be used while your sub tries to serve you wine or clean something (maybe within a time limit or they get a \u201cpunishment\u201d).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3<\/strong><\/span>.<\/span> Wearing a ball gag or dental equipment<\/strong> while trying to recite poetry \u2013 You might laugh or cringe at that one, but I KNOW you\u2019ve played \u201cchubby bunny\u201d when you were a kid \u2026 or adult. You know, when you shove a ton of marshmallows in your mouth and try to say \u201cchubby bunny.\u201d  Yep. Oral restraints.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4<\/strong><\/span>.<\/span> Another fun thing to try is taping up your partner\u2019s calves, thighs, and upper arms<\/strong> (notice that we are NOT tying the ankles, knees, and elbows) and make them \u201cworm\u201d across the floor to get something and bring it back to you. Laugh at that one too, but DAMN, it\u2019s a great work out!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5<\/strong><\/span>.<\/span> Walking around in public with a chastity belt <\/strong>(male or female) under your clothes can be very fun. No one, save your partner, is paying attention to you. However, you totally feel like all eyes are on you. For some people, a dirty little secret can be very erotic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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SAFETY<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n
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Even when playing with mild levels of restraints, safety is a must.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is also nothing to guarantee you\u2019ll be 100% safe (especially with more elaborate forms of Bondage). It\u2019s like driving a car \u2013 you can be as cautious as you\u2019re capable of, and most of the time nothing bad happens, but every so often shit hits the fan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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START WITH THE BASICS<\/strong> <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you and your partner are just getting into Bondage, you need to talk about things ahead of time<\/strong> \u2013 we\u2019re talking more communication than you give your shrink or best friend who comes to you with the latest gossip bomb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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BE SAFE, SANE, AND CONSENSUAL (SSC)<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019re also going to add another \u201cS\u201d to that acronym: SOBER<\/strong>. Under no circumstances should anyone be playing around with Bondage when they are drunk. One glass of wine during dinner is fine, but nothing more \u2026 and it doesn\u2019t matter how high you think your tolerances are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

BDSM play requires the person with the power to be responsible and in their right mind during play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People\u2019s comfort levels can also change<\/strong> (or full-on crash) depending on how much they are restrained. They could be fine with a gag but freak out if they wear a full mask.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Similarly…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Someone could be comfortable with just their legs bound, but a sleep sack (or anything that makes their whole body immobile) might give them panic attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is where communication and slow experimentation, and safety words are, again, important. The emotional state of your sub is just as important as their physical health.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

SIDE NOTE: <\/strong><\/span>We tend to focus on bottoms\/sub\u2019s safety<\/strong> more often (mostly because they are the ones put into a situation with more risks than normal). However, it should be fun for both sides<\/strong>.\u00a0 Everyone’s emotional and physical well-being is something to consider. So, if a Top isn’t comfortable using or doing something, it should be respected.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Learn more about Safe Words here:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pickles, Porcupine, Poland – BDSM, What is a Safe Word?<\/strong><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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THINGS TO LOOK OUT FOR<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n
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Whether rope bondage or any other kind, you need to be aware of…<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

DECREASED CIRCULATION <\/strong>— numbness, color change, coldness (which can occur slowly). Needs action and care.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

NERVE DAMAGE <\/strong>— Sharp or shooting pain, weakness, stress, tingling (which can occur quickly). Need immediate<\/strong> action and care.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Make sure to check in every so often with your sub and double check there are no weird, tingly, or cold sensations.<\/p>\n\n\n

LIST OF DOs & DO NOTs<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n
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